Something Bigger Than All Of Us Is Taking Place

I have some things to get off of my chest because it’s the only way I know how to cope with everything that is going on.  I have all of these feelings fighting each other inside of me and I don’t know what to do with them or where to go with them.  Saying these things out loud in my living room doesn’t make me feel any better, so I’m giving this a try.  Plus eating apple pie for breakfast.

Some of my more conflicting feelings are in regards to what has been the democratic process in the US.  I feel that the government is a lot more deeply corrupt than anyone is willing to admit.  I don’t really feel like my vote counts.  I don’t really feel like I have a say or voice about what my country’s government does.  I don’t feel like “contacting my congressman” is going to make much of an impact to what is really going on behind closed doors.  I don’t *want* to feel this way, but the feeling is there inside of me nonetheless.

I feel like it’s all an illusion, a show, to make us feel or believe like we have a say and that sometimes they throw us a bone and let us have our way just to keep up the illusion so that they can continue, for the most part, doing whatever it is they want.  I don’t feel like they’ve been doing what’s actually best for our country or what the people of the country really want (vs what the people are told or convinced that they want).  And I feel like it’s been this way for a really long time, maybe even before I was born.

I can’t point to all of the individual reasons that I have come to feel this way because it’s based on general observations over the course of my life.  But what I can do is link a couple of current articles that, each in their own way, shows how much more complex everything actually is vs the black and white simplicity it feels like the public at large tries to paint everything (the links will open in a separate tab): I Was Trained for the Culture Wars in Home School, Awaiting Someone Like Mike Pence as a Messiah, and Frightened by Donald Trump?  You don’t know the half of it.

This is bigger than Trump.  Trump isn’t even the worst of it.  I’m more concerned about Pence and a great many other things, than I am about Trump.  At least with Trump, the corruption is out in the open.  If there is one good thing that Trump has done, it has been in helping people become more clear within themselves about how they feel about things.  And for me when I become more clear on how I feel about something (vs sitting confused on the proverbial fence), I become more clear about what it is I need to do.

Being able to take decisive action is empowering.  It’s not how we thought it would come about and it’s not in the form that we ourselves (I’m sure) would have chosen, but like it or not, he is opening up the way for us to take back our power.  He is ruffling our feathers and waking us up.

I mean look at the resistance.  Look at all of the Alt and Rogue twitter accounts from not only the National Park Services, but others like Rogue POTUS Staff, AltHomeland Security, AltDOJ, etc.  The list goes on and on.  I’ve found 31 so far that I’m following.  The protests, the marches.  I mean we’ve marched in protest before in the past, but never to this degree.  Never this loud.  Never this confidently.  Even other countries are stepping in: Netherlands launches global fund to help women access abortion after U.S. ends funding.

The mess we’re currently seeing has been there for some time, it didn’t come out of nowhere.  Trump is not the sole one responsible, he’s more or less the patsy for what’s really happening behind the scenes and previously hidden agendas.  But now the corruption is bubbling to the surface for all to see and it finally gives us something visible and solid to point to and say, “No.  No more.”

So it’s probably more correct for me to say that my feelings about the government, etc. are more about how I had been feeling about things up until this election.  That it’s only because the People’s truer voice is starting to be found and heard, that I’m even willing to admit these things to myself.  Like coming out of a defeated and head-held-under-water kind of sleep.

I feel a sort of relief that something is happening, changing.  That lines and boundaries are being drawn.  That complacency is giving way to action and that previously silent people are beginning to speak up.  That is the more appropriate and healthy response to the injustices taking place in the world.  Outrage is a far more sane response to me than the ‘business as usual’ I’ve seen in past years.

However, I also know that we have our work cut out for us.  That this is just the beginning and we have a long road ahead of us.  But things could not have possibly continued as they were, and so this long and hard road is necessary.  If things were really as good as we were all trying hard to believe they were, then none of this would have ever happened.

All of the decisions and actions (or non-actions) of those who came before us, as well as all of our own since we’ve been here, have led us to this moment. Cause and effect.  There is always a cause and effect.  An accumulation of choices and decisions that have been made, including choosing to believe things are fine even when they’re not.  We can tell ourselves that we had no part in this coming about, but at some level, we did.  But we’re also the ones that can start bringing about real change if we’re willing to cut through even our own bullshit and start seeing things as they really are and not just how we need them to be.

I have more to say, but this is more than enough for one day.  I expect to be misunderstood by what I mean and I even expect it to be more or less ignored because people are in overwhelm and shock and up to their eyeballs in other people’s opinions and feelings.  I get it.  And it’s okay.  I’m doing this for me.  I have a voice that wants to sing my song and doing so is more the point for me than anything else.  I’m enjoying the individual songs that are starting to be heard out in the world and I hope that even more begin to join in.

The symphony of humanity.  A choir of individuals singing their heart song and taking back their power.  It has begun.

fixing