Saturn in Sagittarius: Bringing Meaning & Inspiration Back Into Our Lives

Serious business Saturn moved into optimistic outlook Sagittarius last week.  I am pleased with this.

Or rather my natal Neptune/Moon in Sagittarius is pleased with this.  They have a trine (natural talents) to my natal Saturn in Leo.  Translated into English: I have natural talent in bringing what many think is unbelievable into this existence and making it a reality.  Magic.  I know magic.  😛

The Neptune/Moon/Sagittarius mix, involves abstract concepts, Higher Truth, dreams, imagination, and the connection to the other side of the veil.  The place where dreams are born.

Saturn is serious, disciplined, and solid.  Natural ruler of Capricorn, it is the respected elder who worked their ass off every step of the way to get where they are.  It provides the sound structure needed in order to make something worthwhile or long lasting.  It rules bones or the skeleton.  Something hard, durable, and stands the test of time.

It is through my hard work and disciplined dedication, that I learn to access my creativity (Saturn in Leo).  That part does *not* come easy to me.  My younger years will (have) been spent on forgoing fun and pleasure in favor of working my ass off to understand and straighten myself out.  When I hit the sweet spot of finding the truth of myself, the trine to my Neptune/Moon (in Sagittarius – higher Truth) lights up and creates a connection between here and the land of imagination, divinity, dreams, or as I like to call it, the golden world.

It is the world of magic and make believe and fairy tales that we forget are real in another plain of existence while we are here and as we grow older (Saturn).

When that connection is made, a couple of things happen for me.  One, that golden energy travels back down the trine to Saturn, and brings it into the “real” world.  Here.  Second, it travels down my opposition to my Sun/Jupiter in Gemini and makes me want to communicate and share it with everyone I know.

Magic and love for you and you and you!

But here’s the shitty part.  For those who have stopped believing in the magic of the golden world, it appears that I am handing out big fat nothings.  I’m all, “Here, have some golden magic!”  And they’re looking at their empty hands and they’re like, “What is this bullshit?”  And then I’m all {sad face}.

However, Saturn being in Sagittarius, it’s like everyone gets a boosted help in reaching that place directly themselves.  If they put in the hard work, of course.  So yes.  I’m pleased as punch about this transit.

It will be there until June of 2015, where it will retrograde back into Scorpio (boooo!) until December 2015 [CORRECTION: Until September 2015], where Saturn will once again enter Sagittarius and stay there for a couple of years (Yay!!)

This transit, in my opinion (which duh, everything out of my mouth is my opinion), is about finding something meaningful and purposeful in our lives, and drawing our bow and aiming our arrow towards bringing it into our lives furreals.

The place this will show up in your life, is where ever Sagittarius is in your natal chart.  And/or Jupiter.  Or Capricorn.  Or Saturn.  I could almost write an Excel formula for that.  =IF (OR(Natal House=”Sagittarius”, Natal House=”Capricorn”, Natal Planet=”Jupiter”, Natal Planet=”Saturn”),”The place they are located”, “Sorry, you fail at Astrology Excel, but thanks for playing.”)

Finding something meaningful or purposeful should make you feel inspired.  It should bring new life into your otherwise gray and dreary existence.  This is some of what Sagittarius has to offer us.  After going through the Underworld of Scorpio and surviving death of all that is not real in our lives, we need a bit of cheer and song and dance.

Expand your mind and your horizons.  Leave the past behind.  Reset your priorities and set your eyes on new heights.  Let.go.  The saying, “The truth shall set you free”?  Sagittarius.

To leave hell or the underworld, you must let go of what is weighing you down.  What weighs you down, is anything that isn’t real.  When Pluto finally cracks that hard noggin of yours and you finally let go of whatever isn’t real (but you’d swear with your life it was), then you get slung shot into Soaring Upwards, Freedom Loving, Inspirational Sagittarius.  “I believe I can fly.” 

Which in itself isn’t necessarily useful if you’re just flying around in the abstract and idealistic ideas of philosophical Sagittarius.  Because unless you have some way of anchoring them into real life, ideas and thoughts are all they’ll ever be.  Sagittarius can feel a lot of frustration when they share their inspiration and ideologies with other, more grounded individuals, when they get the usual reply of, “Well, that’s great in theory, but in the real world . . . ”

The age old war between the “Dreamers” and the “Real World”.

Interestingly, the sign that follows Sagittarius is Capricorn.  First come the philosophies/inspiration, then comes the hard work of bringing them into existence and leaving a legacy.

What Sagittarius could stand to understand, is that when grumpy old man Capricorn comes raining on his parade, that it doesn’t mean give up or let that spark of inspiration die.  It doesn’t mean stop believing in yourself.

I know a thing or two about speaking my heart and getting attacked and buried under a flock of Capricorn naysayers telling me that I’m too idealistic or naïve about the ways of the world.  That one day I would understand better.

And you know what?  I do understand better.

I’ve worked very hard every day of my life to eventually have a good paying job and stable occupation so that I could provide a roof over my family’s head and put food on the table.  I understand that there are certain “rules” that have to be played by in order to make it in the real world.

But do you know what else I understand better?

That the authority figures in my childhood were also wrong.  (Wait, what?  They were human?)  Being anchored and planted squarely in the real world, does not mean that you have to give up being a dreamer and idealist.  It does not mean that you have to sell your soul, or give up who you are, or be miserable in order to survive or make it in the real world.  It does not have to be an either/or choice, it can be an AND.

I’ve learned that it is possible to change the status quo.  That we are only as limited as our beliefs and understandings about the nature of reality.  There is a truth that aligns with divine natural law, that we aim to bring through the veil of the worlds to here on Earth.  When that is achieved, it is referred to as “Heaven on Earth” or the “Golden Age”.

We are obviously not there yet, but I do know one of many ways it can be reached.

Seek out and remember who you really are inside and strive to realign with and be that at all times.  Remember what you knew in your heart when you were a young child, before you were dismissed, invalidated, and convinced otherwise.  You don’t need to convince other people that your beliefs are true.  Be at peace within yourself with what you know to be true.  If you are not able to be at peace, then maybe you should take a harder look at what you are telling yourself is true.  Inner peace is not conditional on others behaving according to your rules, it is conditional on how aligned you are with your own soul.

These are many of the things that my own Sagittarius and Saturn connections have meant for me in my natal chart.  Finding a higher purpose or meaning in life, bringing and anchoring those philosophies into the real world for practical use, working hard to uncover who I am and aligning to my true self, never giving up in believing in myself and what I know to be true in my heart no matter how many times I mess up and fall down, continually letting go of what I think to be true in favor of opening my heart to discover what is really true and the courage to forgive myself when I see what part I played in my own misery.

There is so much potential during this transit.  I’d urge you to take full advantage of it and use it as leverage to make any much needed changes in your life (whichever part of your life you feel inspired to change).  It is simply a window of opportunity that you can choose to use or ignore.  It makes no difference to the universe, as we all get to where we’re going in the end.

kitty can fly

 

If You Think Your Poop Don’t Stink, Then You Can GTFO

It’s important for me to interact with others.  It’s from interacting with others, that I am able to see myself more clearly.

However for that to be effective, it requires a couple of things.

The person needs to have a certain amount of self awareness.  They need to have a working knowledge of who they are distinct and separate from the others around them. (<–why did I word that like a job description?  I am so weird.)

The person also needs to have a certain amount of openness and trust of others so that they aren’t so closed up and defensive about every little thing that comes out of someone else’s mouth (especially before attempting to understand what was actually meant by the person).

These things are important to me for many reasons.

I am effectively blind to myself.  I need feedback and reflections from others regarding what they see when they interact with me.  I know I have a 1st house full of Self.  But I also have very few aspects to that house from the rest of my chart, so it’s kind of an island out on its own.  I also have an asteroid (and if I have the time I’ll look up which oddball asteroid it is) in my 1st house, that basically describes just that . . . I can’t see me.  I don’t just have blind spots . . . I am completely invisible to myself.  I require the assistance of others to help me see me.

So . . . when I was younger, whenever someone said something to me about me I believed it.  I tried it on for size to see how it fits.  It gave me something to work with, where as before I had nothing.  Eventually I would find all of the ins and outs of what I was told, as well as how much was true for me and how much was actually true for the other person.

My initial motive and interest with others in life, was for no other reason than to *see* myself.  Not in being better than others.  Not in being less than others.  Not in having power over others.  Not for the million reasons that have been projected onto me for why I am like I am or why I do what I do.  In the past, I have been the scapegoat and evil villain in many stories . . . and I did believe them to be true (for the reasons others gave) because I had not been shown that I was anything other than that.

I feel like I have lived life a little inside out from others.  Like I backed into life upside down and inside out.

My 7th house has Uranus in Scorpio and Pluto conjunct the descendant in Libra.  The others in my life, were not very open and honest about what was really going on.  They were completely focused on looking good for others, not in being honest, open, and real.  So these are the people I looked to growing up, in order to understand who I was.  I was very reliant in feedback from them to know myself.  I did not know that they weren’t being open and honest with me.  I didn’t understand that sometimes things are said out of fear or anger and aren’t necessarily true.

So, if in a fit of rage someone were to direct it at me and say, “You are so fucking stupid!”  . . . I fell apart inside, because I was wide open and accepted everything as truth.  The naiveté of Aries.  It went straight to my core, it became my identity.  I couldn’t readily undo it.  I might walk around for months hearing that yelled in my head and feeling crushed because I was such a disappointment.

Now is that the fault of the person who did it?  Not really.  I mean, yeah it’s a pretty crappy thing to yell at a kid . . . but the missed opportunity in that moment when I was younger, was in it being explained to me that the yelling had everything to do with what was going on inside that person and was their thing to own and understand.  And that my response to what they had done, had to do with something going on inside of me that would be valuable for me to learn more about . . . to become aware of and understand for myself.

The person yelling, cannot be held solely responsible for how everyone else responds to them.  How can that one person keep in their head how every single individual is that they come in contact with (including ones they haven’t even met before), and adjust (hide, restrict, suppress) themselves accordingly in order to not offend or hurt anyone?  That’s absolutely insane.  And yet that’s exactly what most of us are taught to do.  (Is there any wonder that projection runs rampant in modern day society?)

But back to me.  (<– yep . . . I am the center of my universe.  Where else should I be . . . the center of your universe?  That’s silly.  That’s where you’re supposed to be.)

So anyways, growing up consisted of everyone throwing their shit at me.  From a very young age, I was first made aware of my dark side.   I grew up in a constant state of fighting to come to peace inside with the fact that I was the devil incarnate.  Not in a defensive way . . . but in the way that innocent children do all things, openly and with their whole heart.

Some people grow up thinking they’re the bees knees and that their shit don’t stink, and later in life have to come to terms with facing the stinkiness of their shit.  Whereas, I grew up thinking only my shit stinks, and everyone else’s was roses.

I *think* my soul knew what it was doing when it chose this life, but the jury in my head is still out on that.

So I get my dark side.  I get other people’s dark side.  Btw, this isn’t a challenge from me to you.  I’m not interested in proving this to anyone.  It’s exhausting and it has become boring.

However in order for me to become balanced and whole, my challenge is to now come to peace with the lighter side in me.  I rarely have that reflected back to me because I need to change how I interact with others in order to stop inviting the people into my life who refuse to acknowledge their OWN dark side and shadows, but are happy to continually point out mine.

It has been incredibly helpful to me for others to reflect my dark back to me so that I’m aware of that part of me, but I’m quite done with it.  I get it.  I’m TOO aware of it.

Being around more self-aware people means that they are less likely to try to project and make me own their own demons.  I’m not expecting perfection, not by any means, but if the other person doesn’t have enough awareness, then I become battle weary in trying to deflect incoming demons being lodged at me from behind their wall of “NOT MINE EVER!”

I need the person to be open and trusting.  Not wide open and over trusting . . . but coupled with enough awareness in order to be able to discern for themselves whether an issue is truly their own.  They need to be open to seeing their own darkness (and furreals . . . not in a distant objective detached philosophical sort of way).  Not blindly accept it, but not blindly deny it.

At the very least, be capable of having an honest discussion in order to further distinguish and understand for both of our sakes.  There are instances where something new happens in an interaction, and I honestly don’t know whose “thing” it is.  If it’s mine, I want to know.  I want to be able to own it.  If it’s not mine, I want to know.  I don’t want to own something that isn’t mine.  It’s not about winning/losing for me.  It’s about truth, openness, and honesty.  Because nothing feels better to me in the whole wide world than to be me . . . all of me . . . the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I just want the goddamn truth.

Much of this is has to do with my Neptune/Moon conjunction in Sagittarius.  I feel comfortable and at home when Truth is being spoken.  I feel safe and okay to be open (intimacy . . . moon in 8th house), when there is Truth between me and another.  It is no surprise to me that I find so little comfort in this world . . . there is so little Truth being spoken.  So many are hiding from themselves and each other.  It also relates to my Gemini Sun conjunct Jupiter in my 2nd house.  I feel secure when I understand.  I don’t want to judge and rule people for Christ’s sake . . . I just don’t feel safe at all when I don’t understand what is really going on.

Not only that, but regarding Gemini Sun/Jupiter conjunction . . . that is a lot of damn light(ness) going on.  But where is it?  {Looks around innocently with hands up in question}  Where’d it go?  Where is the fun, silly, light-hearted part of me?  Well . . . that’s my current quest.  I’ve lived a life thinking I’m only Pluto . . . that I’m only my shadow.  I’m now more interested and motivated to explore my lighter side.  My fun and laughter side in order to round out my understanding of my shadow.

I’m only now beginning to be able to communicate more effectively to others what it is I’m needing in relationships, because whenever I’ve tried to explain it in the past, it was taken in a completely different way than I meant it.  It took me some time to sort through all of “the requests from me/responses from others” within myself over the years to see how/where/why communication broke down.  (And btw, a shoutout to An Upturned Soul who has been tremendously helpful for me recently with her voicing her own struggles, in helping me become more clear about what it is I’m trying to communicate/say.)

For example, I’m not interested in blind praise.  I think I can thank Saturn in Leo for that.  I’m not looking for someone to puff up my pride.  I don’t need you to tell me I’m pretty or that I’m special or that I’m awesome.  Mostly because I don’t understand what that means or what is meant by that.  Often general statements like that are also projections.

I think you’re pretty {because it’s important to me that I be called pretty, it’s something I value . . . so I’m giving you a compliment by saying you’re pretty.}  Except that’s not a compliment to me.  It doesn’t actually mean anything to me.  So if you wish to say it because you really feel it, then please do.  What I learn about you from that . . . is that you value looking good.  And that’s cool.  I’m actually glad to learn that about you, because it’s something about you that is different from me.  I value *that* understanding more . . . than the fact that you think I’m pretty.

But if you’re only saying I’m pretty because you assume that’s what I value and what I want to hear from you (in order to get on my good side so that you can get something from me), then that is not seeing me.  That’s you seeing me as an extension of you.  I don’t want to be you.  I want to be me.  I want you to be YOU.  I don’t want to be someone else’s illusion . . . I don’t want others to be an illusion to me.  I want TRUTH.  I want REAL.  Not niceness and kindness for the sake of niceness and kindness.  That’s . . . ugh . . . it is so limiting!!!

I am interested in seeing you for who you are and NOT as an extension of myself or to use you in an attempt to validate my own self illusions.

So to wrap this up . . . before my head starts spinning like the exorcist, going forward I’m going to be actively approaching life in a new way so that I’m able to start seeing the lighter and brighter side of me.

This means my response to others will change.  I’m not asking others to change their response to me.  You just do what you do however you want to do it.  But what you get back from me going forward, may be different.  I’m going to make sure I’m all extra awkward and weird about it too.  (<– not really try to be, it will occur naturally)

I will though, be holding others responsible for themselves.  I don’t want to hold other’s garbage for them anymore.  I’m also tired of keeping my mouth shut so that I don’t offend anybody.  I’m totally expecting and accepting that I’m going to piss people off.  I’m going to offend.  People will leave here with their panties in a wad.

Not because that’s my intent or focus, but because that’s a common response when people get stripped bare.  I have been getting stripped bare my entire life.  Don’t think I don’t know how it feels.  That’s ALL I know.  But now, if you come around me, by default you are going to be stripped bare.  That’s all I want in my space.  Openness, honesty, trust.  I need everything to be out in the open.  That’s where I feel safe.  That’s where I feel okay.  You want to be in my space, then that is what you can expect.  It’s your choice to come or go.

Okay . . . not everything . . . for example, I don’t need to know that you like to play with barbies while you sit on the toilet.  I’m open to having a discussion on what I even mean by “everything out in the open”.  If you were being defensive, you may have responded with “I’m not telling that bitch EVERYTHING about me!  Who does she think she is?!?!”  If you were being open you may have responded with “I wonder what she means by that?” and if it was important enough for you to know . . . you’d ask me.

My focus will be on staying true at all times inside and out.  And just because I’m not all sugar and spice and everything nice in my communications, is not so much because I’m evil . . . but because I’m striving towards always being true.  I care more about truth than I do in looking like the good guy. I always have.  That is what is at my center.

So, if you need others to always be nice and kind and sweet with you because you are fragile and sensitive and you think that is what it means to be respectful . . . then you can GTFO.

If you think being passive with me or tip-toeing around me means I’m not going to call you out on your shit when you’re shoveling it . . . you can GTFO.

If you’re more interested in playing the victim your whole life instead of doing something about it, then you can GTFO.

However, if you’re interested in starting to see what is real in life and what is true both in others and yourself, then GTFIH (Get The Fuck In Here).

If you’re interested in learning a new way of being and of being in relation to others, then GTFIH.

If you’re interested in seeing what experiencing life in a fun and warm-filled way is like, then GTFIH . . . and let’s hug it out!

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