I haven’t been myself for awhile now. I find myself and break surface, treading water, gulping in fresh air. Then promptly get yanked back under. A lifetime struggle of trying to swim towards the surface sparkling with warm sunshine, while wrestling with ten ton weights on my feet.
Always I find that the weight weighing me down are lies . . . smokescreens . . . illusions that I’ve convinced myself are true. And also always, I find that I believe them because for whatever reason, I have been unable to accept the Truth.
I have found for myself that healing . . . true healing . . . is a tricky beast. On the verge of finding great joy and peace, I have literal nightmares during the night where I find myself face to face with my worst fears.
But when I’ve had enough . . . when I’m done being afraid . . . truly, truly done . . . worn down and exhausted from the fight . . . something other than fear rises up in me.
I stop running from it. I stop rejecting it. I stop trying to change or control it. I instead accept it . . . embrace it . . . I allow it to be a possible truth or reality in my world and I allow myself to be okay in the same space. It being true, does not have to mean that I cannot find peace and happiness. Both can coexist in the same world.
Because the Truth is, I will always be okay. In the end, I will always be okay.
Show Me Who You Really Are 
Jenni my dear friend . where have u been these days. I was waiting for ur video blog.I cannot tell u how much I awaited . do not worry eventually things will fall into place. U r doing right by showing acceptance first
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Hi there 🙂 – I am still here, just very focused on integrating all of life’s lesson into me. I am happy to see all of you guys here. Even if it’s just through likes, it feels like old friends dropping in to say hello.
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Life teaches u continuous lessons . keep learning keep moving. U r missed here Jenni . I’m eager towatch ur video blog..
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This made me cry with recognition…really battling those weights myself today…I know I need to just sit and face my fears and embrace them too…I dont always know what is a lie…and fears can lie to us…Thank you for this ♡
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If it helps at all, someone told me yesterday that it only takes sitting with the feeling for 90 seconds to release it. That’s it, just commit to being brave for 90 seconds.
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