Death To The Popcorn Eating Shadows!

Do you know how when you really want to do something and you’re all excited about it in your head and maybe even your stomach, and you’re living it out in your imagination and “Wooo! It’s going to be so awesome!” and you’re getting totally pumped up about doing it . . . and then you think of someone in your life that you’d *like* to share it with but based on the feeling of the response from the last 50 times you’ve asked them to do something similar . . . all of your enthusiasm deflates like a popped balloon animal?

Yeah, me too.

Or how about, when you get a burst of inspiration and all these thoughts and idea come into your head and you’re like “OMG! Why didn’t I think of this sooner?!” and you come busting through the living room, excited to share your brilliance with the world while simultaneously making a list of all the things you’re going to need to do or get in order to bring this brilliance into existence as a favor from you to everyone else . . . but it gets met with less than excited looks on people’s faces?

“Boooo!”

If you’re hard-headed like me, then you’ve probably continued to do this over and over until one day you realize that you can’t even bother to get excited about it yourself.  You no sooner think of something that makes you excited or happy, and this ‘reality trend analysis’ races ahead in your imagination and sees that it always ends up in disappointment and decides to automatically throw the kill switch before you can even get it started.

Other, less hard-headed people, figured out long ago that when it’s something that is important to you or makes you happy but others don’t approve or support it . . . that you keep that shit to yourself and don’t share it with them.  Don’t feed your joy to the killjoys!

But I’ve got a problem.  I share.  I share a lot.  I show my cards at the beginning of the hand.  I’m all “Here’s what I have!  What do you guys all have?!” which is returned with murderous looks thrown in my direction.  People take “Go Fish” way too seriously.  Sheesh.

People have more than one way of letting you know they don’t approve of something.  So someone *might* be saying out loud in words, “Oh my gosh, that is so wonderful, I’m so happy for you!” But they’re being a liar liar pants on fire and you can tell from the tone or tension in their voice or maybe their body language or maybe even just from a feeling you’re getting.  It just doesn’t feel or sound sincere to you.

You may pass it off, or just go with it because I mean, who cares you’re in a good place within yourself because obviously you have *happy* news you just shared.  But something in you picks up the insincerity at some level, and it sits there in the shadows eating popcorn watching this all unfold, rubbing it’s buttery hands together evilly because it knows one day it’s time will come.

Evil Popcorn

When it happens to you enough times and with enough people, you’ll start finding yourself avoiding those people or not wanting to share good news with them or maybe even not be excited about the news yourself.  By this point there is an accumulation of those evil buttery handed party poopers in the shadows who are whooping it up because the one has become the many and they’re starting to gain power and have a say on your attitude in life.

Popcorn Gulls

Over time, these little things can suck and drain the life right out of you.  Kids, this is what happened to grown-ups and why they are so serious about everything and boring.  It’s a disease you catch as you age.  (Gawd, I hope there are no actual kids reading my site with me and my sailor’s mouth!)

What this also brings up for me are things like *secrecy*.  Why people lie.  Why people are SO blind to their own bullshit.  Why people can become so controlling.  Why people can be easily fooled if you say one thing, but do another.

“I know you don’t want me to do this, but I really want to so I’m going to do it anyways.  I don’t want your guilt trips or lectures, so I’m going to do some jedi mind tricks on you so that you can’t see I’m doing it, but we’ll be able to continue being friends/peaceful family member/mate.”

Now, the thing is . . . it’s not that people don’t notice, but as long as nobody says anything about it out loud then everyone *pretends* it didn’t happen.  When everyone pretends it didn’t happen, it actually becomes very hard for anyone to recall it later or even remember that it happened.

If you start doing that long enough in your life and for enough things . . . you start to not notice these covert things.  You start becoming oblivious to all kinds of things going on around you.  If you go your whole life like that and then one day you ever start to unravel that shit . . .

My-Life-Grumpy-Cat-Meme

It’s like cats.  Cats are going to do what the fuck they want to do.  You can tell them no, and maybe they’ll stop doing it.  In FRONT of you.  I have heard a million stories about owners thinking they’ve tamed their cat only to walk in and catch the cat in the act.  The cat is just being true to it’s nature.  The owner is just in serious denial thinking they can control the cat.

Now you can try breaking a cat’s spirit in order to gain control over it against it’s own will and needs, to show that you are a superior being in your own mind’s eye, and continue living in your deluded world that you have total control and dominion over your environment.  But then you’re just a fucking asshole and need a good punch to the face.

No popcorn

Or.  You can make an effort to try and understand the whole reality of what’s going on in the situation and diffuse it from the root instead of fucking up your spiritual and energetic shit beyond recognition or help.

Animals don’t have agendas like “Today, I must piss off my human.”  They do things because there is a reason.  Something is causing it.  It might even be you.  It might be another family member.  It might be a health issue.  Maybe they were abused.  Maybe, it’s because a need of theirs isn’t being fulfilled. <gasp!>   There’s always a solid reason.  But if you’re totally oblivious to your environment or your own shit . . . then you’re going to keep blaming and taking it out on the animal.

So why do I do stupid things like yell out what’s in my hand and share?  Because I do not wish to be oblivious to myself or my life or to other people’s bullshit.  It initially puts me at a disadvantage because until I eventually figure out what’s in everyone else’s hand, people use my straight-forwardness to their advantage.  I get used as a scapegoat.  I am made to feel guilty and ashamed.  I’m talked down to.  I’m ridiculed, laughed at, and made fun of.  Called names.  Talked about behind my back.

But do you know what?  During all of that shit storm . . . everyone is showing me and everyone else all of their cards.  By the time I get to the last card in the last player’s hand, there isn’t anywhere for anyone to hide.  And finally everyone gets to see their own bullshit, and to be perfectly honest?  It’s ALWAYS a relief.

Because we are ALL so sick of the bullshit.  We are all becoming so sick of our own bullshit and everyone else’s, but we’re wrapped up so tight in it that we can no longer see our way out of it.  We want out, but where’s the fucking EXIT sign?

Popcorn Thief

I’ll tell you –>  Stop having tolerance for your own bullshit and get yourself cleaned up.  Which when you do that, you’ll start understanding why shit’s so messed up and how the things you do cause your own problems down the road.

Then you’ll naturally stop having tolerance for other’s bullshit and start insisting that they hold themselves to a higher standard as well.  We need to be visited by a plague of Truth instead of this widespread disease of popcorn eating shadows.

Btw, not putting down popcorn.  I love popcorn.  Especially with salt and butter.  Popcorn’s the best.

Nom Nom Popcorn

Comments

  1. great post, love the cat analogy. keep speaking / writing your truth and ideas. you can’t change those kill joys, just keep them at bay.0

    Like

What about you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: