I’m Retiring From Giving A Damn

I’ve had it.  I’m just done.  {With what? Tell us!  Tell us!}

I’m tired of analyzing things to death.  I’m tired of trying to figure out how to be me, but not break any of the fifty-eleven “rules” of what it means to be a considerate and respectful member of the human race, and tying myself into pretzel knots from head to toe.

Am I being offensive? Am I being fair?  Am I being respectful?  Am I being sensitive?

Well how should I know?  I can’t know that for everyone else.  Honestly, it’s a little on the ridiculous side for me to have such expectations of myself.

I’m tired of explaining . . . I’m tired of clarifying . . . I’m tired of trying to guess what’s going on with someone else.

That’s what I’m done with.

So here’s what’s going to happen for me.  I’m going to focus on my own feelings.  I’m going to do what feels good.  I’m not going to do what doesn’t feel good.

If it offends, is insensitive, or hurts someone’s feelings . . . then whoever that is can choose to speak up and say something to me or not.

Otherwise, I’m not going to waste anymore of my time trying to figure out what I may have or have not done to someone else.

To be perfectly honest, I just don’t care anymore.

Do I speak too much, do I not speak enough, why do others go silent, why don’t they say what they’re feeling, is it me, is it them, is it projection, is it projected . . . it’s fucking crazy making is what it is.

So I’m done.

I’m going to do what I do, and how I want to do it.  If others care to join along in the fun, then awesome . . . if not . . . fine.

I love people and I love having them in my life.

But I’m no longer going to bend over backwards to be so understanding of everyone else, and totally neglect my own feelings.  That’s just stupid.

I suppose I was being concerned that if I was just being myself, that nobody would want to be my friend.  And again, that’s just stupid.  And again again, I just don’t care anymore.

I’m done apologizing for myself.  I am who I am and you can either like me for that or . . . you can piss off.

I.don’t.care.

I do what I want

Comments

  1. Yay you!!!!

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    • : D

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      • This last few days of merc ret….which I really don’t usually mind at all…have been kicking my ASS!!!!!!! I am floored at the depth by which I tell myself I’m just NOT doing enough (loser!!!!) because I feel a bit frozen right now. I just like that you stuck up for yourself. Such awesome self love and just so important. Love you….as always ❤

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        • Ha! So that’s what standing up for yourself feels like. I had it mislabeled in my head as being a bitch. I like the way you saw it. I’ll drink to that! {clink}

          Speaking of not doing enough . . . I tried visiting your blog spot the other day, and there was all kinds of “Put header here” and “This is were you would write text” things going on. Something was missing . . . hmmm . . . what was it? Oh yes . . . your thoughts!!! It made me have a sad.

          I see you speak out for everyone else’s rights . . . but I rarely get to hear *your* voice. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to hear about Carmen and all about Carmen’s world. I hear tales about there being a fire in there . . .

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