What The Lord Of The Underworld Has To Say About The Affairs Of The Heart

I was replying to a comment in another post, and found myself in the mood to talk about it a bunch.  It’s in response to a comment from johnsie4 (aka Janelle) who said:

I’m interested to hear more about Pluto in opposition to Asc, one of my kids has this aspect and I’m interested to learn what that might mean for him.  How does it make you feel?

I’m finding that I’m just in the mood to talk about Pluto in general . . . so I’ll begin with Pluto in opposition to the Ascendant . . . but where it ends up is anyone’s guess.

If astrology is not your *thing*, then this post will be beginning with ways in which hidden (in plain sight) power struggles between me and others play themselves out in my life.

Aries Ascendant/Rising in Opposition (180 degrees) to Pluto in Libra in the 7th House.

Aries Ascendant/Rising in Opposition (180 degrees) to Pluto in Libra in the 7th House.

This is a little busy, but it’s to show the full axis of the 1st and 7th house.  I put Pluto in a heart . . . because he needs love too.  (Huh . . . just noticed transiting mars recently went past my natal Pluto . . . no wonder I’m interested in talking about Pluto LOL).

Anyhoo.  How this has shown up in my life.

I tend to trust people fully as soon as I decide I like someone.  I am completely open and honest with them about everything.  I don’t have a weeding out period where someone has to earn my trust before I start divulging things about myself.  This is really stupid of me, because it lets all kinds of unworthy people into my circle of trust that I should not be letting in there.

Others in my life are evasive about themselves.  It’s like pulling teeth to get anyone to say anything about their personal lives.  They have way more information about me before I have hardly anything on them . . . so that gives them a sort of power over me.  And if they misuse it (and most likely they will because it’s rare to find an enlightened Pluto . . . meaning the stuff they do is subconscious and they can’t even see how they do it.) then my life becomes a living hell.

Also, I’m usually excited to share my relationship with everyone.  “Yay!  Look, this is my boyfriend!”  And every.single.time. for one stupid reason or another . . . I’m some big secret in their lives.

One boyfriend told me AFTER we had been seeing each other for a couple of weeks . . . that “Oh btw . . . I’m an active Muslim.  I can’t be seen with you in public or introduce you to my family, otherwise they will pressure me to marry you.  Is that going to be a problem?”  <— THAT . . . is an example of Pluto on the descendant.  (Btw, because my moon is in Sagittarius (Religions/Faith) in the 8th (Intimacy) . . . that also affects my close relationships.)

Another long-term boyfriend from Belfast, Ireland (More Sagittarius Moon 8th house . . . people from all over the globe) who had moved to my area, didn’t want to tell anyone back home about me because divorce had just become legal over there and he was going through a divorce.  You had to prove one of the approved reasons for getting a divorce in order to get one.  His reason was because of her cheating on him.  So . . . he had to be on his high horse and not let anyone know he was dating anyone before the divorce was final, otherwise how was he any better than her?  (It took about 2 years for a divorce to g0 through.)  So for a WHOLE SUMMER, when his two kids and parents came to visit . . . I couldn’t go see him and had to pretend I didn’t have a boyfriend.

It is ALWAYS something.  And I’m ALWAYS understanding.  But over time, it really . . . really wore down my self esteem because in my own subconscious I was being told by these people that I was someone to be ashamed being seen with.  I wasn’t valuable, I wasn’t wanted.  I ALLOWED them to do that.  So by me not speaking up and saying, “Oh HELL NO!”  I just said, “Oh . . . okay . . . I understand.” and put up with way more than I should have.

The hard part (and this is specific to Pluto in Libra) is that they all seem like perfectly sweet men.  You could analyze them up, down, and sideways and you’d never find anything you could put your finger on and say, “Aha!  There’s your flaw!”  And yet . . . a year or so down the road . . . I’d take a look at myself and find that I had fallen a long way.  Miserable, ill, depressed, lifeless.

Also any time I was in a relationship, I could say goodbye to my friends and family until after the relationship because we got swallowed up in our own little world.  There were often issues of jealousy.  I was a possession to be owned.  My every move was controlled or questioned.  I would become isolated and it would become hard to see a way out of the relationship.  After awhile I’d forget that life had been any other way.  When you feel like you’ve been dropped to the bottom of a very deep well and like the walls are closing in on you and you’re all alone, and like things will never change or get better . . . you are experiencing Pluto.

After the umpteenth time of repeating this “dying” process . . . I finally took a break.  An eight year break.  And decided to figure out WTF was going on with me.  I ripped into my psyche to find what it was about me that was causing me to basically invite the same guy into my life over and over.  I left no stone unturned.  I was brutally honest with myself.  I analyzed every scenario from every perspective until things started to clear in my head and make more sense.

I came up with hypothesizes on why I did certain things and what I could do to potentially change it . . . and tried it out in my own life.  Again in a relentless almost obsessed (Pluto) manner.  Eventually I made it down deep enough in myself to where I found my own inner Pluto.  And when I cracked that bad boy open . . . for the first time ever in my life, I began to make REAL progress in changing myself.  I began to feel a sense of peace I had never felt before.  And forgiveness, because I could see myself in all of my past relationships.  And I saw how it’s really us that keeps ourselves prisoner with our own judgments (Libra).

Pluto on the Descendant (or opposition to the Asc), means that relationships will be where your transformation takes place.  It’s through relationships that you’ll experience the death and rebirth of the Phoenix.  It means that eventually . . . if you decide to face your own inner Pluto . . . you will come out of the other end understanding human relations inside and out.  The what, when, where, why, and how of relationships.  You will understand the affairs of the heart.

Comments

  1. Arrrgh. Tell me again about Pluto transiting the ascendant??? Mine has been wiping the slate of my life “clean” for the last almost 2 years and until the fall of this year. Its been…..death…and still awaiting the “rebirth” part <3.
    Love you, btw!! 🙂

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    • You have had a dastardly last two years. If anyone I know has been thrown into the bottom of a well . . . it’s been you.

      Transits are windows of opportunity. A person can actively use that time to work through the things brought up, or they can just wait out the transit for things to go back to how they were. But you definitely have never come across as someone who just sits and waits for things to pass.

      Capricorn is the slow and steady climber. One step at a time. It’s the structure given in order for other things to be possible. The structure of a building, in order to have offices or apartments. A skeleton in order to have a human body to mold over it. It’s what holds things up.

      Pluto going into your 1st house . . . everything that has been the structure of who you were up to this point . . . is being bulldozed down so that you can build a new one that is more suitable for you.

      Capricorn builds things to last . . . so this isn’t an easy task even for Pluto . . . and it’s certainly not an easy task for the person trying to survive it. Everything that you used to identify with is being hauled out into the open for evaluation, and whatever Pluto says has to go . . . has to die. Everything you thought was you is being changed. Anything not really you . . . anything not long lasting . . . anything not true . . . needs to be surrendered. The sooner you surrender it, the sooner you will feel relief from the transit . . . and won’t be so focused on when it ends.

      You’ll know when you’ve surrendered to what Pluto is saying needs to happen, when instead of feeling like you’re dying . . . you’ll feel like you’re coming to life . . . the Rising Phoenix part. If you aren’t experiencing that . . . then you’re still holding to a part of you that needs to be let go. This is especially hard when it’s something like your self identity. And it takes time when it’s involved in Capricorn because it has to be slow and sure-footed before you take a step . . . so you just have to keep going . . . knowing you’ll find your way. When you start to feel the Rising Phoenix part . . . you’re getting closer . . . but just keep going in slow and steady movements while letting things drop away from you as you go.

      There is an image you hold of who you think you are, or how you should be . . . and Pluto is showing you where that’s not true. Who are you . . . who are you really deep in your core? Who were you when you were a little girl . . . that you shoved and pushed away deep inside in order to hide and protect her? Pluto is asking you to find her . . . bring her to the surface . . . and be her. Be nobody else but her.

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  2. Wonderful post! Thank you for sharing your experiences and insight. This is very beautifully written.

    My son is the sweetest little guy, I am glad to learn about this stuff. He has a Libra moon, so definitely someone who will want to be in relationships and might be self-sacrificing in them. This might be a really difficuly aspect of his life. I have the hardest time reading my kids natal charts.

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    • Thanks so much : )

      Oh Libra moon . . . at least I have Sagittarius (the eternal bachelor) for a moon to make me want to be free . . . oh wait . . . but also Neptune conjunct . . . no boundaries/merge into each other.

      Something you might be interested in learning more about in regards to your son’s Libra Moon and Pluto on the descendant, is co-dependency. Like really get in there and understand what is meant by co-dependency. This will totally help your Pisces-ness too. It may help you gain clarity. In a functional or healthy relationship, you want to get to a place of inter-dependence vs. co-dependence. Makes for happier peeps all the way around.

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      • Oh! And about having a hard time reading your kids natal charts? I know, right? (said with an up inflection) It’s really hard to be objective about someone as close and special to you as your kids. In a new TV show The Goldbergs, there was an episode regarding “mom goggles”. I don’t think I even need to explain what that means to any of the moms out there. : )

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  3. I don’t understand a lot about transits yets because I’m still learning natal astrology. Pluto is at 11 degrees Capricorn right now, Capricorn is my 10th house. My Mars is at 16 degrees Cap, so they’re in the same decan right now. I’m currently struggling with my Mars energies, I’ve been in a huge fight (OMG with 2 people, one has sun in Capricorn, the other has moon in Capricorn), a fight you can’t really come back from. My public personna has been… broken down and dissolved in the past few years. Wow, this is CRAZY!

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    • One thing at a time, right? Transits came naturally to me once I had a good grip on natal astrology.

      LOL @ your Cap Mars fighting with other Caps. Okay . . . maybe it’s not so funny. Except it is.

      I understand that Mars fighting thing. Whoa, nelly is it sometimes hard to reign it back in. In my attempt to head towards Libra North Node, I have probably the most comical expression on my face when I’m consciously trying to reel my spitfire fighter back in before I take someone out.

      I get triggered, Aries goes RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWRRRRR . . . and right before it leaps out and attacks the person who triggered it . . . I start to lurch forward like I’m about to pounce. . . my eyes go WIDE O.O and then I try to hold all of my airways open with my whole body, while my still WIDE OPEN eyes continue to focus center and I slowly and steadily breathe my wrath back into my body without closing up or blacking out. Every fiber in my body is begging me to rip something apart. Just burning to shred into ribbons whatever triggered it.

      Trying to grab hold of that little bugger in mid-strike has taken quite a bit of discipline and perserverance. That sounds like Capricorn material to me. Maybe that will help your Mars. Slow the little dude down.

      Perserverance is one of the cool things with Capricorn. Slow and steady is NOT Mars thing. But with maturity . . . perserverance . . . just keep going. If you slip . . . pause . . . and then try again. And again. And again. Do it again. Little by little gaining traction. If Mars goes at Capricorn like it does while in Aries . . . it will be like smacking head first into a brick.wall. Okay . . . a mountain. Capricorn is just going to flick the Ram off of it like a booger, and tell it to come back when it’s ready to work hard and earn it’s place on the mountain. This is a HUGE pill for Mars to swallow.

      Ugh . . . and then Pluto transit to boot. {Booooo!} I’ll tell ya something that Pluto – planet of hidden doesn’t like . . . being in the 10th house for everyone to see his bizness. Okay . . . maybe I’m projecting onto Pluto and it’s me that doesn’t like that. : ) But then again . . . Pluto in Libra and 7th house is Public. My private, intimate matters just *are* a matter of public knowledge. I never had a chance at keeping my dirty laundry hidden. Hmm . . . that just explained all my weird dirty laundry dreams. Also all my dreams where I need to go to the bathroom, but the only toilets available are like in the middle of the parking lot, or sidewalks along busy roads. LOL. That’s bananas.

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      • Oh you are so funny! I truly enjoyed your imagery. I was giggling for quite a while after I read it.

        It’s ok, it IS funny that my Mars in Cap is fighing with other Caps. The one who started this massive fight involving loads of people, I learned from this post, has Pluto transiting his natal sun. So… crisis with identity, ego, knowing himself? Yeah, I think that’s what this was about. I feel very compassionate towards him but I’m still mad. So I still don’t know what’s going to happen.

        Anyway, thank you, thank you so much! You have been so helpful. I will most defnitely learn more about co-dependancy. I wish I could take off the mom goggles (lol) and see the charts for what they really are. It might be something I have to get done by someone who doesn’t know them.

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  4. I love the way you write. I can sure tell it was written by someone with strong Sadg energy. Girl, you are strumming my pain with your pencil and singing my life with your words. Same exact situations, just different people. I thought I loved clandestine relationships, they seemed more exciting and romantic, but as I read this I thought wait a minute, THEY were never MY secrets—I was always there’s—and actually, it sucked. I just figured it was because I’m gay and they were often “straight”? I think thats the term they used. I thought I had to be patient and give them time to process, but 3 years into one of those relationships, and I was still a big secret. Did I choose the wrong people—well I chose the only ones I ever fell in love with, which were not many. Casual relationships don’t work for me. But I think somehow I have it sort of worse than you planet wise. I’m new to astrology but it seems to me my pluto is sitting dead on top of my moon at the exact degree. They live together in the 7th house with Uranus who is a few degrees away. And THEN Charon is sitting on my ascendant at the exact same degree. And so its not just Pluto by my moon-pluto which are opposing not just my ascendant but my AC-Charon. It’s like a cosmic chicken fight. With plutonium as weapons. AND, for more fun times, Saturn is squaring venus—who lives in Scorpio. And mars too. And neptune too. He’s squaring all of them. I’m screwed in love. Screwed, glued and tattooed or however that goes. I almost never am attracted to anyone and when I am it’s all consuming and AWESOME. But I can’t really have them. Or show them off. Or see them when I want. Sometimes I just love them in secret, and don’t even bother telling them. and yes, I had one girlfriend who Thought she owned me which is yet another chamber in this underworld of love, as you mentioned. That relationship was the worst of all. She owned me, kept tabs on every move I made but told no one about me, though we lived together. I guess in a way, I’m lucky I wasn’t tied up in her basement with the entitlement issues that one exhibited. I have given up on love in this life. But I would be curious to know what you think the bearer of such a booby-trapped chart might have done to elicit such a situation. I believe in Karma and truth above all else in this world, and I feel very connected to the maker of this universe, and this doesn’t seem like a punishment anymore (it sure used to) but it seems like SOMETHING, boy.

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    • Hi Kathy!

      Your comment had me chuckling, especially when you said you think you somehow have it worse than me planet-wise. Mostly because it was said in such an innocent open-hearted way. While you are experiencing your plethora of planets setup like they are, all you can see is how mine would be such a relief to you, vs. how I experience it. Not that I’m envying your chart nope, nope, nope.

      Based on what you shared of your chart . . . here’s what I felt come up in me: Saturn is the teacher. He doesn’t give you what you really want in that area of your chart until you have paid your dues and put in the hard work with zero shortcuts.

      Squaring Venus (which gives me a sad), with Mars & Neptune in Scorpio . . . and all the 7th house stuff . . . I see your task is in getting down to what is real. Not what you daydream or wish for things to be . . . but getting into the very heart of things. The nitty, gritty, walking around in sewage rawness and realness of life. If you’re standing in shit, are you letting yourself be aware of shit and feeling the shit? Or are you telling yourself that you’re standing in a field of flowers and the smell is the scent of a misunderstood flower? As soon as you admit to yourself that you’re standing in shit . . . and accepting it . . . then the sooner you can find your way out.

      One thing is realizing that relationships are a part of why you’re here, whether you want that to be the truth or not. Whether it’s easier for you to be alone or not. (Hmmm, do you know where your North Node is? That just popped into my head, your North Node seems to be a big clue to all of this somehow).

      With so many lies, deceit, hidden motives swirling around your love life, what’s a person to do? Your task given to you by Saturn, is to learn discernment about what is real and true in your own self first. Get real with yourself, get clear and truthful. The more you uncover your own heart, the more Saturn will open the doors to more real and fulfilling relationships. The more truthful you are with yourself, and the more you act on the truth you discover, the more the fog of illusion will clear and the more clearly you will see others, helping you navigate through the intense emotions you feel coming from others and throwing you off your game.

      Hi, I’m Jenn and I write novel length responses to people’s comments when I’m not being careful.

      Summary: Understand what you really feel inside and navigate from there, not based on confusion going on in the outside world. Build trust with yourself by hearing your heart and acting from your heart with truth and integrity at all times, and the rest will work itself out.

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