Wanting To Be A Graceful Swan, Destined To Be A Goofy Dork.

I was recently doing searches on various aspects of my birth chart because I’ve lost sight of who I am again.

Normally this might be something I’d talk to a close friend about . . . but right now, that friend is you.  This space is the only medium I have in my life right now to talk things out.

But hey, I have Uranus (friends, internet, unconventional) in my 7th house (relationships) . . . so maybe this is exactly how it’s supposed to be for me.

Over and over again I am reminded in my life that there is how I think things are supposed to be . . . and then there are how things just are.

Anyways . . . I like visual aids, so here’s a look at my birth chart (and it’s okay if you don’t know astrology . . . it’s my feeling that even just seeing the geometry and symbols gives us information, even if at a subconscious level).  If you click on it you should be able to see the mega huge version of it.  (If you’re looking for a great resource for astrology, or even just to have the ability to do a chart without having to pay money . . . www.astro.com is *the* best place I have found online.)

Jenn's Birth Chart

Jenn’s Birth Chart

It will never fail to amaze me how looking at a birth chart is looking at a snapshot of the heavens at the time and location of a person’s birth . . . and how it is a blueprint of who we are and what our plan was for the time we are here.  As above . . . so below.

Anyways, I first started my search with my (moon’s) North Node, which is in Libra in the 7th house.

North Node in Libra in the 7th house.

North Node in Libra in the 7th house.

One place I looked, True Node.org, had a lot of useful information.  Some of it I wasn’t quite on board with, but that helped me actively use my discernment in what I felt to be true for myself vs. how another person viewed/interpreted similar things that I do . . . without being defensive about it.  And also for me to keep in mind, that there are other things in my chart that change how it is expressed in me.

Here’s what stood out most for me:

You are here in this lifetime to learn to give with the whole heart, asking nothing of others in return.

. . .

Some will perceive you as disloyal, since you are so reluctant to invest in your relationships.  However, as you grow in your spiritual development, you will find within yourself an amazing ability to give self-confidence to others.

. . .

an ability to “give others the will where there was none” and to make them aware of their own self-worth

These are the things I felt touch me deep inside and reading them easily make me cry in a kind of relief . . . so I know they are touching on something true and important to me.

When I’ve forgotten who I am . . . this is the kind of process I go through to help piece myself back together until a bigger picture emerges and I’m able to start remembering on my own.

One of the things I feel when reading these sentences, is a raw heartbreaking overwhelming humbleness at the idea that I could affect another human being in that way.  Which makes me painfully aware of what I’ve been feeling about my own self worth.  How lately, I haven’t been feeling like I have anything of value to offer another person.  I know it’s not true, but I can’t seem to remember what it is I have.

So I kept searching to see what other clues I could find.  Next was on my Neptune/Moon conjunction.

Neptune (9th house) and Moon (8th house) conjunction in Sagittarius.

Neptune (9th house) and Moon (8th house) conjunction in Sagittarius.

This is where my deep feelers come from.  This is why I cry like a person at a funeral when I witness something that feels so profound or so beautiful.  This is what brings me to my knees when I hear a violin playing just the right haunting chords.  It’s where I feel (moon) both the beauty and sorrow of the world and life from a spacecraft view.  This is also where I get incredibly confused in my feelings and who I am separate from others whenever I become emotionally stressed.

The best place I found that describes the Neptune/Moon conjunction, is at The Chirotic Journal.  It’s a longer quote . . . but I feel it’s necessary in order to effectively understand what it means to have this configuration (or similar).

Imagine this scenario: someone you know has come to see you and on their way over they have got stuck in traffic, had an argument with a co-worker on the phone and discovered that their husband spent the housekeeping on a hooker, then they call in at your house, and actually, they like you very much and just want to hang out for a while so they don’t mention any of that bad stuff, but inside they are angry, upset, hurt and frustrated, as would only be natural for anyone who had experienced such a frustrating and upsetting set of circumstances. For most, this visitor would appear agitated perhaps, maybe a little off and flat and for anyone without Moon conjunct Neptune it wouldn’t represent much of a blip on their personal radar, off their friend would toddle, and they might think to themselves “hmm, they seemed a little odd today, no matter”, and they would carry on about their business and probably forget all about it.

Not so for Moon conjunct Neptune. Not by a long chalk.

For anyone with Moon conjunct Neptune, they can feel the anger, resentment and frustration from their friend almost as a physical force in the room. The hostility would be profoundly uncomfortable, they feel so uncomfortable in fact that they may even begin to physically sweat, or shake, or feel a little wan and pale. And even before their friend was out the door they will already be running through the list of all possible misdemeanours they could possibly have committed to have caused such an upset, because it is entirely possible that their friend is angry because of something they have done, or said, or not said, or not done, or implied, or inferred or failed to anticipate.

It’s for this reason I need lots of time alone.  It’s also the source of many of my oddities, all of which are hard for me to explain or describe because it just doesn’t make sense in practical down-to-earth terms.  It’s stuff that only makes sense to someone (without this or a similar configuration in their chart) when they’re having a religious experience or moment of ecstatic bliss.  Or when faced with larger than life events, such as when faced with the death of a loved one and they bring the whole meaning of life into question.  In those moments . . . the things I feel every day of my life . . . would then have more context and make more sense to them.

Next I decided to look at the aspect on my chart that is in opposition (180 degrees) from my Neptune/Moon, which is my Jupiter/Sun.  It’s crucial that I understand this other side because it’s my counter-balance.  Until I come to peace with both, I will swing wildly from one to the other.  I have to reconcile both sides (and all 4 of the gigantic influences) inside of me.

Sun and Jupiter conjunction in 2nd house in Gemini.

Sun and Jupiter conjunction in 2nd house in Gemini.

The things that came up in my search wavered from one end of the spectrum to the other as far as how people chose to see this combination.  Here are some samples:

From Sasstrology (and specifically about having a partner who has Sun/Jupiter aspect . . . apparently I’m a handful.)

When ego (Sun) is united with the planet of expansion and philosophy (Jupiter), it creates a larger-than-life personality. Sun/Jupiter is a highly intelligent, optimistic partner. But when his sense of self gets too big, is there room for another person in the relationship?

Jupiter’s full-on influence quadruples the Sun’s energy.

I *have* wondered this myself.  I understand at some level that I’m *a lot*.  I can get so frustrated with myself.  I want to be who I am without overwhelming or scaring people off.  But I don’t know how to just “kind of” be me.  It’s like asking an atomic bomb to “bring it down a notch”.  How?  🙂

From the site My Astrology Book:

You have brought strong and powerful spiritual energy into this world.  You’re very ethical, vital, physically protected, and have much wisdom to share with others.  You’re optimistic, philosophical, generous to a fault, buoyant, love to travel, and will probably do so, to places far from home. 

Okay . . . that seems like a little more down to Earth.  But it’s not really getting at the bigness of the energy.

MoonPluto Astrology says with the Sun/Jupiter configuration:

People forget sometimes that Sagittarius is the sign of prophecy and Jupiter in Gemini sitting with the Sun (YOU) is… to quote a Facebook friend of mine, the intensity and relentlessness of 1,000 white hot suns.

There we go . . . 1,000 white hot suns.  Now I feel like we’re on the same page.  That’s the level at which I’m having to consciously work with and keep under control at all times.  If I don’t, my physical body (2nd house) starts paying the price for it.  So I’m always in flux trying to keep myself healthy by not keeping all of that repressed in me . . . and also with not letting it all out and frying everyone within a 100,000 mile radius to a burnt crisp.  Cuz . . . I mean . . . I deeply *care* about you guys.  My Moon/Neptune is absolutely horrified at what my Sun/Jupiter is capable of.

So the ping pong game that often plays out on this axis/opposition of my chart looks something like this:  Supernova Superstar! —> You Monster!  How could you be so insensitive! {sob uncontrollably} –> I’m super sorry.  I’m a pathetic, self-centered jackass. –> Oh . . . it’s okay . . . I know you didn’t mean it. –> Really?  –>  Sure!  You’re not so bad.  I love you!  –> Supernova Superstar!

This is mostly internal . . . because I have another aspect playing out in my chart that isn’t so fond of my Sun/Jupiter.  And that is my . . . wait for it . . . Saturn in Leo in the 5th house.  (dun Dun DUN!!)

Saturn in Leo in the 5th house.

Saturn in Leo in the 5th house.

I *am* grateful for Saturn, because he helps anchor my Neptune/Moon and keeps me from totally floating off into space.  This is where I gain discipline, strength, and focus if I put in the hard work.  But it’s in the sign and house of FUN!  Noooooooo!

I liked what Night Sky wrote about Saturn in Leo.

Under Leo, Saturn is brought into the spotlight, into the limelight and is forced into doing something that Saturn abhors generally, and that is being the centre of attention and being “fun”.

Bah, Humbug!

In this position, Saturn is forced into showing courage, spontaneity, exuberance and love of life. The result is often a straight jacket.

LOL.  But seriously,

When in terms and face though, and the essential debility of this placement is reduced somewhat, Saturn´s serious and no-nonsense face is a beautiful blend with Solar energy resulting in an old and mature soul acting through an innocent and childlike Leo.

That’s a beautiful sentiment . . . but here’s the reality of it:

The detrimental nature of Saturn in Leo almost always guarantees the humiliation of Saturn in any kind of endeavour in which he tries to act out his original and melancholic nature, for in doing so the fire of Leo will burn away all careful planning, all responsibility and wreak havoc. But for the Saturn who acts out his inner child, who does what Leo tells him and tries to be “fun” it seems as if great respect and honour… those so desired Saturnine gifts are thrown upon him. It is funny that this Saturn although repressed and wearing a straight jacket when he does take to the stage, is so showered with affection and admiration for doing it. But that is the nature of essentially debilitated planets, they are asked to do something they don´t like.

Ack.  Okay.  For some reason this has me tearing up.  {Stop it!  Stop crying! God you are so embarrassing sometimes.} <— says my Saturn in Leo/5th house to my Neptune/Moon.

Guaranteed humiliation when I try to be myself around others.  Yes.  1,000 white hot suns yes.  My Gemini and Sagittarius want to be in love with life and people.  They want to bring joy and laughter to everyone.  And then there’s Saturn with a leash on both of them saying, “NO!”

This is Saturn in Leo's response to Moon/Neptune in Sagittarius.

This is Saturn in Leo’s response to Moon/Neptune in Sagittarius.

I hate and fear attention.  I.despise.it.  It baffles me that there are people who want to be famous.  WHY!?  Why would you do that on purpose?!  But the forces that burn and bubble under my surface, demand to be let out . . . and that is inevitably going to bring attention to me. (godbleepitybleepingbleep!!)  So I most definitely will come crashing through that stage in a straightjacket, because it’s both something I hate and something that comes with just being who I am.  I want to be all noble, poised, and magnificent . . . but do this instead:

That's about as graceful as I get.

That’s about as graceful as I get.

So . . . that’s as far as I got in my search.  When I’m in a healthier space, I can handle way more information than that at a time . . . so that is another indicator for myself to take it easy and to continue to rest.  But doing this helped.  It felt good to share this with you.  (But don’t tell Saturn.)

{Continued in Before I Get To Goofy Dork, I Need To Make A Quick Stop At The Local Abyss }

Comments

  1. Check out Alyssa Sharp on You Tube & Facebook. She is a lot of lighthearted fun.

    Like

    • What a great recommendation, rosemontreflections! Thanks so much for sharing that!

      I was watching the one called “What I Love About Gemini” (http://youtu.be/llG9UKRfL6o) and it got me laughing when she said that Geminis need best friends to bounce ideas off of because they help center the Gemini and “take them down a notch”. 😀 It was fun to hear how Geminis want to share their moments of love and happiness with everyone . . . and what fuels their need to share & communicate. Just a bunch of validating awesome, as well as helping me see some of the ways that Saturn in Leo has squashed some of my Gemini ways. (Made for the spotlight? I think not.)

      Like

  2. Hi! We have some things in common, I have Aries Ascendant. My North Node is in Aries, so it’s intersting we have this opposite thing going on. Maybe we could learn from each other? I have been reading a lot about Jupiter and having Jupiter conjunct sun is a really good thing. In fact, tons of celebrities have this aspect. I know you said you don’t understand wanting to be famous, but maybe it’s just the essence of your personality embodies luck and good fortune. Thanks for sharing your chart. I’m sure Neptune has a lot to do with you not always knowing yourself. Neptune causes me to question my identity on a fairly regular basis.

    Like

    • Hi johnsie4!

      Another Aries Rising! 😀 Yay!! I so rarely come across another one of those. And as for opposite nodes, we could most certainly learn from each other.

      What I understand from some of the North Node Aries I’ve met, is that they struggle with letting go of what others think about what they say/do (letting go of the judgy part of themselves). It’s also hard for them to get out of the mind frame of always putting other’s needs ahead of their own. Always thinking from the perspective of “what about you? what do you like? what do you want?” You, you, you. Bleck. ; )

      I can see your South Node Libra allllllll over your comment. Look at you bringing up things about me and commenting on them. That felt awesome to me! I loved how you did that. But that’s also a Libra South node thing.

      So . . . less about me . . . and more about you . . . and you’ll be heading towards your Aries North Node. And I *know* how hard and unnatural that probably is for you. Relating to others is like your life blood.

      Btw, I really do totally appreciate the things you brought up about my chart . . . it actually made me cry a little. And I may or may not have broke into a happy dance in the middle of my living room because my inner Gemini just about had a mini-stroke in happiness seeing someone wanting to share and connect regarding information I find fascinating!

      Regarding my Jupiter conjunct Sun . . . I think I am okay with attention, as long as I get to hide behind a computer screen. I’m awkward enough on the internet, it need not get weirder than that. But I also like that you brought up that it could just be that I’ll embody luck and good fortune. I could totally live with that.

      It felt good to hear what you said about Neptune having a lot to do with me not always knowing myself (and your last comment totally had me laughing). It’s something that I know . . . but it feels like a breath of relief to have someone else say it back to me in validation. Like, “Whew. Yeah. That feels better. I feel a little bit less insane. Thanks!”

      So what about you? Do you have anything else in Aries? What’s your Moon and Sun? What would you say is the most challenging part of your chart?

      Like

  3. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me about the North Node. I really have a hard time with attention or putting myself first. I don’t feel like I’m necessarily a people pleaser, but I don’t want to offend anyone or hurt their feelings. Do you believe in reincarnation? I do based on some otherwise unexplainable memories. Anyway, I have been able to find 2 possible lives based on these memories, and both lives have Aries North Node. Right now it’s on the 29th degree which is the degree of urgency, so I think I need to take this seriously. I have come to see my natal chart as a note to myself from myself before this incarnation and there’s a lot of information if seen from that point of view. Also, it’s possible you ane I are from the same soul group, though I’m not quite sure what that means (Aries Ascendant in the first 10 degrees).

    I also have Aries in Mercury… I can communicate like a weirdo sometimes. I leave out important details and jump around from topic to topic before completing the previous one. I drive people crazy when I talk and I’m overly excited.

    I have my moon in Pisces conjunct my Aries ascendant and either I’m totally unconscious of the Aries I’m projecting, or I’m mostly projecting my lunar qualities. I’m often told I come across as shy, meek, timid. I most definitely look like an Aries. I have the sharp facial features and a high pitched voice.

    My sun is in Taurus, in opposition with Pluto and sun conjunct True Lilith. This is my most challenging aspect. I’m aware of my dark side. Other people can be too, and I am often labeled as “bad”, especially by the older generation. I am not bad at all, and I don’t even know what it is that I do that rubs them the wrong way. The Pluto in Leo generation could just be feeling friction with the Pluto in Scorpio.

    My favorite aspect is Jupiter, it’s conjunct the moon in Pisces and in trine with the sun and Mars. This makes me feel lucky in life and with Jupiter in Pisces, when I’m being generous I am gaining good fortune. I have really felt this to be true.

    You and I have strong Jupiter influence on our charts so looking at your chart I feel I can really relate to you. I have been thinking about your chart a lot, and the moon in opposition to the sun is a really important aspect for you. This can make you indecisive. It’s not that you’re necessarily lacking confidence in your decisions, it’s that you need to see all sides before you feel you can make a decision. This gives you a very Libran quality. Jupiter in opposition to the moon can make you very emotionally charged and cause you to experience intense emotional highs and lows.

    Oh boy this is getting long, lol. One more thing, Neptune conjunct the moon (two planets in the realm of unconsciousness) might give you some pretty intense dreams. My Neptune is conjunct Midheaven and I get intense dreams almost nightly. Neptune in my chart causes me to question my identity and reality. I didn’t have parents who helped me know what was real and what was not, and in a way I’m dealing with that now, as an adult.

    Thank you so much for your comment. I don’t get to talk astrology with many people so I tend to do it whenever possible. I’m so happy to hear you feel the same way. I loved the image of Gemini celebrating!

    Janelle

    Like

    • Hi again Janelle 🙂
      North Node on 29th degree . . . yeah I’m guessing you don’t want to repeat this again. I love how you see your chart as a note from yourself – that’s a *feel good* thought for me. “Dear Me . . . just in case you run into trouble on your journey, here’s a guide. Love, Me.” 🙂 As for being in the same soul group – I know in Esoteric Astrology that you view the Asc as the soul, so that puts it into a similar category . . . so you never know, it could be!

      LOL . . . communicating like a weirdo is a common event with me too, even with my Mercury in Taurus – different reason, but same results. I need time to stabilize or let my thoughts settle down into a feel good place before I speak them out loud in a coherent manner. When I’m forced to speak sooner I start sounding like a skipped record and I oscillate from deep philosophical truths to cheesy salesmen pitches. Also, I weirdly mess up clichés. 2 birds in a bush and a barrel . . . wait, how does that go? Or say something completely unrelated. “Why are the numbers from yesterday so high?” . . . . “I LOVE VANILLA CAKE!” (okay I’m exaggerating now.)

      Being unaware of your Aries . . . *is* an Aries thing. 😀 I wrote (ranted) about some of that in my latest post. Maybe one of these days I’ll dedicate a whole post just to Aries and my own personal understandings I’ve come to realize in my “search for Aries”. I know people give the impression of Aries revving their libido, I mean sports car, while sitting in their Spartan warrior outfit . . . but that’s just not the Aries I know at all. However, there’s a good chance your Aries energy could be repressed too.

      I think something that helped me the most in getting started in understanding Aries in myself, is that it’s about becoming Self Aware. So, doing stuff like you are right now, looking into your natal chart and learning new things about yourself and becoming clearer about who you are as your own person . . . is exactly right for your Aries North Node. Moon in Pisces, eh? Yeah, keep becoming aware and discipline yourself to keep that awareness you gain of yourself present. Aries = Be.Here.Now. It will help lift you out of the Piscean fog of confusion. Don’t let your attention become too diffused . . . bring it to you and become aware of every moment your in and what you’re doing. Pay.Attention.

      I saw “Taurus sun . . . pluto opposition . . . Pluto in Leo generation” . . . and my mind went off into a rant. (If a Pluto in Leo person is reading this, prepare to be offended. I am going to greatly generalize, and I don’t have any plans on being fair). The Pluto in Leo generation pisses me off. They are the biggest group of spoiled ass brats I have ever met, and they so far, have done nothing but project their self-centered douche-ness off onto younger generations. I’m still waiting for them to grow the fuck up instead of playing games with all of our lives. {angry face}

      So – more specifically to you – I have Pluto in opposition to my Ascendant, so I understand it from that bent, but I think the premise is similar. Plus, I feel this relates to your North Node . . . you need to understand who you are, (including being painfully honest with yourself). . . so that you can clearly see immediately whether another person is giving you valuable feedback, or just projecting and trying to make you own their garbage.

      Boundaries. Boundaries. Boundaries. Find out what you need, what works best for you, and then you need to setup and enforce boundaries. One of my boundaries is, “Do.Not.Guilt.Trip.Me. I don’t do anything out of a feeling of obligation. I do it only from a place of genuine openness and desire to do it, because I MUST listen to my body and my needs so I don’t become overwhelmed and ill. I need that boundary respected for my survival. Therefore, I am not flexible with it . . . I don’t care how much it is misunderstood or how much of an asshole it makes me seem. It’s what I need. I have zero control over how others perceive my actions. If they want to understand why I said or did something, ALL they have to do is ask . . . I’m a freaking open book . . . I’ll explain it alllll day long to help them understand. But if they’re going to make assumptions and projections about why I did it without even letting me know that they’re upset . . . they can go sit and be miserable with it by themselves. I don’t care. I’m not responsible for their feelings. I *care* about their feelings. I want to do everything in my power to help them understand anything I may have accidentally done to hurt their feelings . . . but I am not responsible for their feelings. And I need for them to speak up if something I did upset them. When someone is obviously upset with me, but refuse to speak one word to me it makes me so furious. I start yelling, “USE YOUR WORDS!!!” Don’t assume I know what I did to upset you, I don’t live in your head and I don’t know what your perception of the world is compared to mine unless you say it out loud to me.

      Hmm. How’s that for a novella?

      Okay – I obviously can go on and on nonstop – but I it’s time for me to go rest. It’s been fun talking! 🙂

      Like

      • Oh, wow, thank you Jennifer! You are very insighful and I can’t thank you enough for the help. Yep, I’m quite lost in my other world and not present at all. I had a few days this summer of absolute mindfulness and it was the most refreshing vacation of my life! I have not been back to momentary awareness like that, even for a few moments in quite a while.

        Pluto in Leo… yeah I totally understand your rant. I have a dad who is a Pluto in Leo and he is now estranged from 2 of his 3 Pluto in Scorpio kids.

        I’m interested to hear more about Pluto in opposition to Asc, one of my kids has this aspect and I’m interested to learn what that might mean for him. How does it make you feel?

        You inspired me to really put Aries under the microscope and yes, I’m quite unconscious of this energy. I wrote a blog post about it. I would like to hear your own experience on it if that’s something you would like to write about.

        Thank you again, Jennifer! I can’t tell you how much I have enjoyed this conversation!

        Like

        • I am most happy to be of service, and the happiest! when I inspire. : )

          My son has Pluto in Scorpio. THAT’s a barrel of laughs, let me tell ya. But he’s also the whole reason I wasn’t able to run from Pluto or Scorpio, and for that I’m actually very grateful. A peace comes (especially with Pluto in Libra) when you’re no longer running from the devil in you.

          And yeah, with Leo being a natural square to Scorpio . . . I’m not surprised that they have trouble with each other. I was thinking about it later, and I was thinking how awesome an empowered Pluto in Leo would be. That would be some serious fun. Pluto is a hard planet to master in your chart though, so . . . I may have to wait a little longer for them to grow up than I have patience for.

          Hmmm, I seem to be in the mood to talk about Pluto. Maybe a post is brewing in the background. : )

          Like

  4. Hi Jennifer, I am an Astrologer here in Phoenix Arizona and there is nothing more I love than to figure people out and delve into their birth charts. When I get a little time, I want to look at yours and tell you what I see. Meanwhile, just two quick comments: Jupiter on your Sun should give you a lot of opportunities in life, repeatedly, and maybe even too much of a good thing at times.. Are you tall or large-boned? Jupiter likes to expand everything and everyone it touches!!! I do understand how you feel about not wanting to be famous, in that others will be looking you over and watching what you are doing….. I do not like that either, yet my Gemini Midheaven up there with Jupiter propels me to share information about my favorite topic Astrology, and so I write about it, having previously had a newspaper column for seven years and now I am blogging about it. I love that it’s read in many countries around the world…That seems to make me very happy and work perfectly for me, but don’t ask me to address a large group of people, oh heavens no!!!
    I currently use a website magicalmessages.tripod.com and my work involves doing charts as well as tarot card readings, but I do want to tell you what I see in your chart just for fun.. I think you’ll get a lot of insight from different people on here with many different perspectives!

    Like

    • Hi Astrologerpeg! Always happy to see you here! (btw, Sedona, AZ is one of my favorite places to visit! I was only in Phoenix once for a week and it was for business . . . so I don’t know how I feel about it 🙂 )

      I also LOVE to delve into people’s birth charts . . . it’s a special kind of heaven. {contented sigh}

      I would be h o n o r e d to hear what you see in my chart. (And in your own time . . . no rush . . . make sure you take care of you!) That makes me feel so happy inside! It is so, so, so incredibly helpful to hear other’s perspective of me. Feedback makes me cry happy tears. ❤

      I think I'm considered tall at 5'9". . . but I'm the shortest person in my entire family . . . so I feel like a runt. Opportunities . . . yes. I think I would say I have been blessed in my jobs and with always having at least one person looking out for me and also with having a good income to support my family. I do need to be more aware and grateful for that. Thanks!

      Speaking of Jupiter expanding everything it touches.. . . I'm sure it impacts my volume of writing. Good.Lord. I could probably pump out a full length novel a week. It's a little bit on the ridiculous side.

      Jupiter on your Gemini MC?! LOL . . . wow. I'm trying to imagine what a Gemini MC would feel like. I want to say that it would feel easier to breathe than my Capricorn MC. More freeflowing. Nice. 🙂 I like your MC. And I love that you had a newspaper column for 7 years! That is so.cool! Well . . . in my imaginary version of it, it is . . . I have no idea what the realities of doing something like that is. Did you enjoy it, or was it just like punching a card to get a paycheck?

      I think maybe I should put a section in the blog with links and stuff to the cool resources I keep coming across, including information for people like you so that there's a central place that everyone can find that. Otherwise I'm going to lose track of it in all the separate posts. Hmmm . . . that sounds like a good weekend project. 😀

      Okay . . . *now* I'm going to go rest furreals. Have a good night!

      Like

  5. Jennifer thanks so much for sharing that piece of writing about Neptune Moon.. I have Neptune in Scorpio in the third house square all my Aquarian planets in this order Mars, Saturn, Moon, Sun, Ascendant, Venus, Mercury, Jupiter and the South and North Node it the first… This piece of writing explained to me EXACTLY what happens… and it can be confusing..but I had started to get a handle on it in the last few years. Luckily at one time I had a therapist who told me to check out if my feelings were in fact mine or picked up by osmosis from someone around me.. At the moment I have a sister going through a difficult Neptune transit on her Sun Venus in Pisces square to Mars and this my sound strange but my energy body is reading and scanning hers even from a distance, she is in a deep depression and unless I get moving in the mornings I am in that depression, too… its a time of death anniversaries which our entire family feels…. but doesn’t share..so it could also have a collective element with Neptune by transit…

    You wrote: “this is why I need a lot of time alone” we do as we are constant receptors and when we are alone we can clear and recentre into our own feelings..

    Anyway this is a long and involved blog and I will come back to it and read more as I can only take in so much at one time.. would you mind me to ask your birthdate, time and place details.. I am finding it hard to read the chart online and would like to take a look at it…

    Like

    • Hi again!

      That is a lot of squaring going on! I have actually been finding for myself personally, that I tend to handle squares and oppositions better in my life than trines and sextiles. Same with planets . . . it feels like the challenging planets are my friends, and the beneficial ones are fluffing with me. This becomes more and more true as I get older. The challenging ones (must be my Aries rising that is loving this) give me the needed pressure to do or make something happen . . . the easier ones make it hard for me to get any motivation to move at all. I just want to start daydreaming as stuff floats by me.

      The Neptune/Moon . . . {sigh} . . . until the collective becomes more aware of the “unseen” and energetics, many people with this type of sensitivity challenge will continue to end up in the cuckoo house who don’t really belong there.

      Absolutely you are picking it up from a distance. Space and time mean nothing to the energetic threads that connect between us all. When we’re close to someone, the energetic threads between you start to interconnect. If you are sensitive, you’ll be more aware of the information (whether feelings or knowing or thinking or hearing, etc.).

      I pick up on stuff from anyone I interact with no matter how far away or for how short of time.

      In order for me to not end up in the madhouse, I’ve had to make it a priority in my life to keep a distinction between my energy and another’s. Which sometimes means voicing it out loud (in all my awkward splendor). My mercury is in Taurus and my Gemini Sun/Jupiter is in the 2nd house of Taurus. Earthy stuff. My mom used to say things like, “You know how we’re both so shy.” O.o Squeeze me? To which my Aries was like, “Uh, no. That’s you, not me.”

      If I DON’T make it a priority and stay on top of it, then I end up actually inheriting the other person’s traits as if they are my own. From my last breakup in November I’ve been having to actually work through a bunch of issues in myself (the effects it left in my body) that I didn’t have PRIOR to knowing him, because I didn’t keep my promise to myself to keep that distinction between me and him. It’s hard with the moon portion of the conjunction hanging out in the 8th house . . . when in an intimate relationship, it’s very comfortable for me to merge with them and lose myself.

      12th house/Pisces/Neptune is associated with the martyr, the victim, saint, sinner. It’s TOO easy to sacrifice with this energy. I sacrifice my feelings and emotions when in an intimate relationship. I will stifle, hide, sacrifice my emotions in favor of making the other person feeling better or more comfortable. I will take on their emotional burdens so that they are freed from them (but then I’m sitting there in their goo trying to swim my way out of it by myself).

      While it seems romantic or beautiful (Neptune Illusion) – it’s unhealthy and in the long run it’s not actually doing either person any favors. I’ve been actively learning through trial and error with my son, on how to be in close relation to each other . . . but 1) keep our own individuality 2) distinguish between whose energy is whose even while guards are down and 3) make sure each is being responsible for their own stuff.

      At times it’s like trying to walk a tightrope tangled in spider webs while riding a unicycle and playing a game of chess and juggling clubs . . . but the moments that we hit the sweet spot . . . the angels start singing the hallelujah chorus and the sun bursts out onto the scene and life is golden and magical.

      So I know from personal experience that there is a better and healthier way to live with this Neptune/Moon energy . . . just working out the kinks and gaining enough experience to learn how to stay in that space.

      Like

    • Oh also, regarding my chart . . . did you check the astrology link in the menu above for the chart there. Also If you click on the image of the chart, a ridiculously large version of it *should* open up. Let me know if you’re still having issues. : )

      Like

  6. Wow,
    Ok, so, I laughed, I cried, I wailed while reading your post, Jenn. I posted my chart to my wordpress account, unconditionman, so you can see it there. I can’t for the life of me figure out how to put it in this post. Bummer.
    And Jenn please check it out. I had an astrology reading that made it clear to me that my world is going to change bigtime. I am deeply appreciative of your work here. Thanks.

    Like

  7. Hey, you’re great. I also have Moon ☌ Neptune in Sagittarius (7th house) opposite my Gemini Sun, in my case, conjunct Persephone (1st house). Oh Lordy! The whole sun-moon opposition completely dissolved, full of illusion, hypersensitivity and extreme openness, all the while held in these signs of extraversion, communication, exploration, mental quickness and dynamism… This is such a lot to hold! How specifically do you manage the Moon-Nep in the fire of Sag? Recently I arrived at the image of my Moon-Nep as an octopus – a beautiful sensitive, feeling out into everything, highly shy, desirous to be invisible / completely camouflaged and mostly just hiding out in her broken flowerpot on the sea floor, watching everything with her back safely against the wall… but how to reconcile that with the Sagittarian impulse towards exploration and discovery, trumpets blazing and willingness to “ride rough-shod” … Mostly all of this feels completely incompatible to me… Neptune at home in fire? Yeah right! I’d so appreciate any suggestions as to how to live this well!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Lucy!
      Omg tell me about it!

      {Taking a moment to feel the feelgoods of talking to a fellow Gemini Sun in opposition to Sagittarius Neptune/Moon conjunction because you feel my pain and insanity. Thank you god, I’m not alone.}

      A billion things come to mind (amiright?) Where’s your Saturn? Saturn will help you ground your Neptune/Moon and not leave you feeling so in outer space.

      Watery Neptune/Moon planets in a fire sign . . . I struggled for effing ever trying to reconcile these differences. Too much emotion and it puts your fire out, too much fire and it dries up your emotion. What you’re aiming your Sagittarius bow for is Jacuzzi hot tub weather. Get that water nice and hot and bubbly, meaning you need to get to your really deep inner feelings and make connections between those (which at first can only be done when far removed from the world of hustle and bustle) and your surface Gemini bubbly self.

      Deep dive . . . grab some deep feeling that comes up . . . and walk with it all of the way back up to your more surface conscious Gemini self. Make connections between the two and do it repeatedly until the connection stays, even if you aren’t thinking about it. The more you make these deep dive connections to the more conscious thoughts of your everyday life, the more you will begin to mellow out and be in a more calm state of being at all times allowing you to be in touch with your Neptune/Moon, even while in public. It quietens down the Gemini nervous energy, and it makes you feel more comfortable in your skin.

      The point is to not have to choose one state or the other, it doesn’t have to be an either or situation. Merge the two within you, and the more you build those connections and work on them, the more strength they gain and the easier it is to be in touch with both parts at all times. You tune into your Neptune Moon with your personal feelings. When a thought feels good in your body, you’ve hit a Sagittarius Truth. Use that as your guide. If you feel anxiety or uncomfortable, it is a message from your deeper Neptune/Moon self that you are believing in or living something that is not true and to please take a closer look and remedy it. You will know when you’ve found the truth about the situation when you feel immediate relief inside, like you can breath again.

      Rinse and repeat, as you make progress doing this you will get stronger, calmer, clearer in awareness and joy will start to come through from that deep place in you and spread outward all of the way to your Gemini and beyond, making you shine and communicating much in your presence without even saying a word.

      Before you know it, you won’t be able to shut the hell up and write novellas in comment sections.
      🙂

      The shorter response, and what will be easier to remember, is that you must connect (and collect) yourself together inside first between feelings and Gemini thoughts. It’s a process of starting from deep within and over time it will work its way outward into the world and you with it. You have to pull your fragmented self(ves) back together into a collective single vibration of being.

      With Neptune/Moon in 7th house, the process will happen via partnerships. Either they will help focus you, OR they will get you so lost and confused on what’s what, that you won’t know if you’re coming or going, but either way it all helps lead you to where you’re trying to go.

      I’m so super happy to meet a fellow Gem Sun /Sag Neptune/Moon pathwalker. You have no idea. 😀 (Or you probably do)

      Like

      • Ach! I just wrote another novella in response and it seems not to have been posted. Now it’s gone 😦 . Maybe 😦

        Like

        • Oh noes! It must be gone, I don’t see it : ( I would have so totally enjoyed receiving a novella in return! Well, maybe later if you’re up to it you can try again. Or maybe you sent it energetically and I’m processing it right now. O.O. 😀

          Like

          • Haha, okay! So energetic envoy or not… Here is some version of it again 🙂 I will copy it before I hit the reply button this time!

            Ahhh. Yes, it’s really exciting and a relief to meet you and hear such deeply honest, raw and gutsy sharing from a perspective that has this great similarity to mine. I just read your post that followed on from the “graceful swan” post about the 1st house / Aries experience. Such a gift.
            Both of my parents are Aries and your article helped me to understand my mum’s way of relating to me in particular.

            Haha. I can’t remember all that much of what I wrote right now because it was like this frenzied whoosh of an outpouring! Flash flood of sharing!

            Okay, but yeah, my saturn is in Virgo in the 3rd (conjunct IC and North Node), and you’re so right. Saturn is so important for me in staying grounded in my experience which is otherwise dominated by the watery / airy / firey maelstrom of the Sun-Moon-Neptune polarity. My daily writing practice is my way of tuning in, sending incredibly sensitive and attuned feelers into the deep waters and the deep caverns of my psyche and bringing the images / frames / ideas to my surface mind and confused emotional body that make sense of it all for me, and find the frame where I am free. This day by day drip feed of the most wonderful wisdom, clarity, cherishing love and understanding is at the centre of my world at the moment.

            I remember something you wrote in your reply about “feeling in the body a thought that is not true” … and that finding and dwelling in the thought that /is/ true, is a real Sagittarian arrow-to-bullseye. That reminds me of what it’s like to do The Work, a method of inquiry into thoughts taught by a woman called Byron Katie. Are you familiar with it? Anyway, I completely agree. I am starting to trust my bodily feelings and “subtle body feelings” much much more than ever I used to (I used to just shut the whole lot down as I couldn’t cope with the disjunct between “sensed reality” and “what people were saying” and not shutting down I think would have made an unbreachable schism in my mind.) Anyway, I’m much more viscerally attuned and I feel as this incredibly strong and unignorable phenomenon when I’m “believing a thought that isn’t true.” It’s so uncomfortable.

            Living my Moon-Neptune in the 7th house, opposite my first house Sun, has been so hard. Partner / couple relations swing between my most wild projections and illusions, and cosmos-opening clarity and self-giving love … and back again. Often in quick succession. I’m very well loved / admired / enjoyed / appreciated by lots of people (1st house Taurean Venus on ascendant!), but the reality is that not many men have “come near me” in my life, in the way of seeing something in me and wanting to create something together, build a life together (I’ll be 36 on June 11 🙂 … And then when one does… I can, in a ridiculously tiny so as to be almost non-existant space of time, attach to them the whole load of my desperate desire to be seen and known at depth, held and honoured. Oh yoy. Plenty of intensity, and nothing very lasting. :-/ . That said, I am getting better at standing in the centre of my own wheel (as I think of it), and at least being able to say to myself, okay, honey, you might be projecting all of this. You might be in an illusion right now.

            I feel like my Gemini sun is atypical because it’s conjunct Persephone to within one degree… so it’s actually anything but “superficial” in the way that that energy can be felt / attributed. From the earliest times, my solar identity has been drawn into the depths of the underworld. It feels just as “deep” as the Moon-Neptune, though in an airy / cavernous underworld way rather than the watery firey, volcanic vents on the floor of the ocean way. I long to be able to dwell comfortably at the surface without sacrificing the gifts of the deep. … Gather myself into a single vibration of being, as you so beautifully put it. And yes. I also feel this possibility of a sort of radiant presence (not necessarily as in, shining, light-filled, but rather a sort of spherical outpouring) that communicates without saying a word.

            Oh God, I love words and get so completely tired by them 🙂

            With my warmest wishes from Fremantle, Western Australia… Soooo good to share with you :-). A thousand thanks.

            Lucy

            Liked by 1 person

            • Ahhhhhhhh! {Shrieks of glee} This was so damn fun to read. Energetically I could feel myself swirling excitedly in twirls, squealing and clapping my hands.

              I’m like, “Omg! She gets *it*, she gets it!” *It* not being anything specific other than, just this uh . . . you talk in ways/descriptions I totally relate to, while at the same time I can sense distinctions or variations between us, but there’s still this core *thing* that I haven’t got to experience with another human doing outside of me. It must be that Gemini Sun Neptune/Moon opposition thing. This is so exciting to me. It is helping me parse out or distinguish those energies from the rest of my chart because of the resonance from feeling that part specifically from you.

              Sphere, yes! That’s the image I was seeing feeling, it spreads outward in all directions like a golden globe. lol, I just grabbed onto the last part, when really there are things I want to comment throughout your comment. But it’s late over here in the US and I have an early meeting tomorrow morning. I was just waiting for my latest video to upload before going to bed. But I shall be back at another time to finish my thoughts. Yay!!!! I’m so happy you found here!

              Like

            • Oh my goodness the whole thing you were talking about in regards to relationships hit such a vibration in me. Until reading it I didn’t realize what a weight that might be on another person, that desperate wish to be seen and known so deeply by another. I think I didn’t realize that wasn’t all relationships? Or I assumed that other relationships have this, and it was something about me that prevented me from having it. Something like that. It’s kind of a mind trip to think this might be something that very few people have.

              Having my Neptune Moon in the 8th/9th house, it does show up in my intimate relationships, but it also paints my world view and beliefs. It feels so incredibly important to me that there be more truth and open honesty between people and for people to be seen deeply as they really are and not just the surface because only then is it real or true. I feel anyways. The whole illusion thing . . . it’s like until we get down to who we really are, we are only in relationships with ourselves because it’s just our projections on other people and not who they really are. That is a lonely place to be.

              I would say with a Neptune/Moon conjunct in your 7th house, this is a necessary criteria for you and your relationships. I wouldn’t see it as putting burden on another person. I know it seems like a lot to ask of a person during this time when people are so covered up as to seem impossible to find, but it doesn’t make that personal need of yours any less important. The closer you get to finding and being who you really are underneath, the closer you’ll come to a partner who can do the same or at least meet you part way.

              Connecting into yourself, and establishing balance there first between your masculine and feminine, I feel is what is most needed. Saturn in Virgo conjunct your IC is discipline in self care. It very well may be that the partner you seek is actually within you, meaning not of this world and you reach him through inner spiritual connection through taking good care of yourself in the way that you wish a partner would and when you do so . . . you will reach this other part of yourself that will give you the balance, peace, and care that you’ve been seeking in another.

              Like

              • Yeah, it can be such a trip to realise that the rest of the world doesn’t experience things in the way that I do… that men I’m interested might not have the wish to live at the depth and intensity of experience which is my, ahem, bread and butter!

                I love what you say about my Saturn placement pointing towards discipline in self care. That feels sooooo lovely and nurturing and sweet to me. I do have a wonderful tiny home with a secret door onto a laneway out the back. It’s so small it has to be a “a place for everything and everything in its place” place, and so I carefully fold and put away my clothes, and tidy up after myself and keep the surfaces clear… and it’s such a novelty, almost, to my “fertile chaos” Sagittarian creativity that revels in the messiness of it all (you should see the floor of my art studio!). And it feels so good. The truth is that I’m NOT always great in the feeding myself aspect of self care. I find it hard to cook for myself, though I do generally eat well and more and more the foods that my body likes :-).

                In terms of the partner thing… I’m pretty clear about my journey. I can see a hundred futures of miserable searching and longing, combined with manic highs and desperate lows when I’m with some and continuing to project my needs onto him… UNTIL I make the tiny gentle steps towards my own sweet self, my extremely sensitive and vulnerable moony-neptuny child, and welcome her into my inner circle, sacrifice her no more (is sacrifice of self a theme for you too? I think prominent Neptune can point to that tendency, no?). She… ah… she’s so precious to me. And yet I often abandon her by looking outwards towards the ideal partner, and then continue to mis-interpret her pain as being from this external source (he is not doing what I want him to do) rather than being from ME having disconnected from her. Does that make sense? The polarity resolution of my solar and lunar selves is a big one for me. I have Chiron conjunct Juno conjunct Mars in Taurus in the 12th, so there is a lot of pain there as well as what I feel to be a huge, gaping, blessed, light-filled opening. This area of my chart hurts, aches, is raw and vulnerable, and yet is also so powerful IN vulnerability. And the 12th house Taurus is just lush and light-filled and earthy / beyond earthy all at the same time.

                I hear what you say about how your Moon-Neptune in the 8th/9th house shows up in your world view and beliefs…. about how deep truth in connection and communication between people is so important. Yes honey. Yes, I hear you. What a beautiful vision of things it gives you.

                I’m still very much a novice in Astrology… what would you say about the importance of the house ruler? My 7th house ruler is Pluto (who is himself, sitting in Libra in the 5th house, trine my sun). Can this ruler also offer some keys as to how to live this dynamic?

                I’m so appreciating your counsel and sharing, Jennifer.

                Liked by 1 person

                • Self sacrifice . . . I can hardly comprehend any other existence. With the moon conjunct Neptune, it’s where you’re at home and comfortable. It’s ingrained habit. You spoke straight to that part of me with what you said. It’s a habit of mine that I have to break. My chart is set for me to understand that I matter too. To remember myself. Your words have put me into such a loving contemplative mood.

                  You share a lot of similar aspects in your chart as my ex. There are notable differences, but just to say that some of these things you bring up, I’m intimately familiar with from personal experience. I welcome the opportunity to see these aspects with new eyes.

                  Your Chiron conjunct Juno conjunct Mars in Taurus in the 12th, Your Saturn in Virgo conjunct your IC, and your Neptune/Moon conjunct in the 7th are all connected. It is a story of understanding clearer boundaries between yourself and others. Juno in Taurus, there is a feeling (not necessarily being this specifically, but simply the feeling similar to this) of wanting to be in a stable marriage with sensual pleasures and financial security. Saturn in Virgo conjunct IC, beyond just disciplined self care, it is about fully incarnating into the human body and embracing all of it’s and life’s imperfections.

                  There is something in you that fights being incarnated, that doesn’t want to be here. You remember home, or the place your soul is, too well and it can make things seem too unbearable. You know that in that place, your needs are taken care of, there is no want, no suffering. So you try to escape this place, try to not be in body. But that’s exactly what is being asked of you. You are being asked to stop fighting the fact that you are currently in a human life, to let go and open to it, embrace it, let your soul more fully into your body instead of trying to leave it . . . and then you’ll get to experience that same level of security and being provided for . . . while incarnated. Virgo also emphasizes understanding the link between mind, body, and health. How your thoughts affect your health.

                  Your 7th house ruler is Pluto? Doesn’t Sagittarius sit on your descendant? That would make Jupiter your 7th house ruler. Are you referring to another planet in your 7th that connects to Pluto in the 5th? (you did say you’re a novice in astrology after all, so I can totally understand if you got something mixed up.) But no matter, I can speak to your Pluto in Libra in 5th trine your sun.

                  It most certainly relates to the dynamic playing out above. You are an incredibly powerful person. Powerfully creative. Harnessed well and with an open heart, you can create and imagine anything into existence that you want. Harnessed poorly or with a closed heart, and you will have the life drained from you as well as the others in your life, even without intending to.

                  If you think small or petty, then you will be closed off from your power. You will find it difficult to be creative, which I can imagine for an artist and the other things going on in your chart, that would start to make you feel crazy inside. With a Gemini Sun (the sign of duality and polarity) along with opposition to a Neptune/Moon conjunct, can have you swinging all over the mood spectrum making it feel like you are bi-polar or worse.

                  Pulling the pieces of yourself together into that single hum vibration, taking care of your inner self with feelings of love like you’d give to your significant partner, attending to your physical body needs to make sure it has what it needs and is wanting, allowing yourself to feel more physical sensation instead of trying to tune out your body as if it isn’t there . . . are all things that will tell your physical body that it is safe, that it is okay, and it will build trust between your soul and it. Once you begin to build trust with your physical body, letting it know that you will become more aware of it, and listen to it, and care for it without making it feel like it’s so insignificant to Soul you . . . then it will begin to relax and open.

                  When it begins to calm down it’s nervousness, because the abandonment you speak of is your conscious awareness or soul, neglecting the physical body which is almost an entity of it’s own in many ways, but when it begins to feel like it’s being heard and respected by you . . . then it will let go and let your soul further into it . . . filling you with that feeling of home, love, protection that you seek.

                  Allowing the soul into the body, allowing it to sink deeper and deeper into you, is the most sensual and intimate sexual or creative act that can occur. There is a marriage between physical and soul. The soul is trying to serenade the physical body . . . wanting it to fall in love with life so completely that it will open itself like a woman will willingly do for her husband who she loves with all of herself. The soul can only enter fully into life, when it is done with the whole heart. When you completely surrender to it. When you trust completely in something bigger than you.

                  Like

                  • Dear Jenn,

                    Oh, I can’t believe it! It happened again. I wrote a huge long comment, “posted it” and it said “sorry, comment cannot be posted” and by then it had already been claimed by the black hole of unsaved data. Grrrr!

                    Oh boo.

                    Among a lot of other things in that post, is something I’d like to share that I wrote after I read your reply for the first time (I’ve read it many times and it’s brought tears to my eyes each time). It relates to the union of soul and body, which you’ve picked up on as the deepest expression of the “self and other” dynamics of my chart. Yes, oh yes, nothing less will bring me home.

                    Here’s what I wrote:

                    ++++++

                    Come. Come down to the source and put your mouth to the skin of the water and drink.

                    ::

                    Says soul to body:
                    Oh my angel, I am here and I will never leave you. Beauty of every earthly form: rippling, warm, trembling flesh of aliveness, I see you and I bow. Every golden hair, every quicker of blood-drenched muscle, the weight of your bones holding tenderness like a cup. You are my sacred country, my fruit-hung beloved of the ages, my cave of sweetness. Let me listen to you, let me demonstrate my faithfulness over gentle hours and weeks and seasons and years and epochs. I am here, beloved. I am yours as a promise and as a vow and as a covenant. I have chosen you, my hearth and my home and I am the patience of all eternity.

                    Says body to soul:
                    I am here, ô Thou who calls to me, ô voice that calls in the night. Is it really me to whom you speak? I have opened my ears to you and I am listening. I am the body of ages, ripe with wisdom and dropping the fruits of a thousand trees. I am the body longing to be plucked, ripe and whole and tekn to the mouth. I bleed. Do you see me? My caverns full of treasure. Can you dwell in their midst without plundering them? I have been wounded: stripped bare by greed, rifled through by hands of want and need, blind hands pulling and plucking and dredging, tearing me up by my roots. O one who calls, can you wait? I cannot allow you closer until I know you will not do the same. Show me that you are listening. Shine on me like the sun and do not touch me until the blossoms have opened by themselves. Many seasons may pass of fruit ripening and dropping to the ground ungathered before I am ready. Can you stay where you are and watch my fruits rotting on the ground? Do you see that they are not wasted, but composting, returning themselves to the soil and rebuilding the fertility that has been depleted? Stay with me as sunshine, lover. Shine on me from dawn until dusk. Demonstrate that you are patient. Give me myself in the night time and I will be myself away from your gaze and blaze and light. I will sing myself to sleep by starlight and curl inwards like ferns as the dark gullies run with water. I am my own by night. Aliveness blossoms unseen and infinite beneath the cloaks of darkness. Please turn your face away ô Thou, voice, who says these things. Let me be my own, by night, and your presence made known to me by your absence.

                    Says soul to body:
                    Yes, my love. I hear you. I will shine in the sun with light and warmth, stay present without touching, and turn my face away by night. I bow to you, ô strength, ô dignity, ô wisdom, ô wholeness, ô dance of miracles.

                    Like

                    • And I also wanted briefly to say, regarding my 7th house rulership… My descendant sits at 28 degrees of Scorpio, so I think that, as the house cusp, denotes the ruler as Pluto?? What you said about my 5th house Pluto trine sun made sooooo much sense to me. My creativity and creative expression is like being plugged into source, however if I try to do it with a narrow vision, or for “selfish” ends or in any “petty” way… the whole thing sort of implodes and loses all of its vitality. I’m learning to expand with it.

                      Did Saturn travel over your Moon-Neptune in Sagittarius before going retrograde, or is yours a bit further into Sag? I was saying how I’m absolutely loving having Saturn there, and why an ally he is in general: showing me the value and stability of slow, incremental change, the middle way, the benefits of building something over time and being able to dwell in that structure. I’ve been so tilted towards transformation and rapid state change (Uranus in Scorpio opposite Mars in Taurus) rather than the slow, steady change with somewhere to put your foot at every point along the way, and old Father Time seems to steady, so patient. I don’t feel him as a malefic (is that the word?) at all, and relish his presence as an energy within me.

                      Warmest wishes to you.

                      Like

Trackbacks

  1. […] is more or less a continuation of yesterday’s post, Wanting To Be A Graceful Swan, Destined To Be A Goofy Dork, where I’m looking to my natal chart to help me re-gather the pieces of myself and remember […]

    Like

  2. […] One of the most noticeable things I’ve noticed for me, is my increasing interest to talk about astrology in my posts.  That feeling started Jan 9, 2013 with my post Wanting To Be A Graceful Swan, Destined To Be A Goofy Dork. […]

    Like

What about you?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: