We Are Each A Blazing Light of Glory

I had the most unusual dream last night.  At first I wasn’t sure what the dream was referencing, but the more I wrote and talked it out. . . the more I realized it was a memory from shortly before I was born here.  I feel the weird, almost disorienting, feeling of having regained a long lost memory.

I was wandering around a place.  This place had lots of food.  There was a whole section just for meat . . . in clear packaging.  As I wandered through that particular open room, I was thinking of how there was plenty of food for everyone.  This food thing was a little strange, but it was nice to know that there was plenty of everything for everyone.  It was interesting to me though, because the whole idea of needing to have something outside of me in order to sustain myself was a little foreign to me.  Even trying to pretend like I needed food was an exercise in imagination.

I wondered what it was going to feel like, when we all were going to feel like there maybe isn’t enough for everyone.  I saw flashes of images of Earth, in Africa, where people were lacking this substance.  What did that feel like?  It’s hard to imagine in a place where there’s more than enough, and when it’s not *really* necessary.  If I just connected directly into *source*, I was completely nourished.

But that’s not what the point of this place was.  Although I still wasn’t incarnated yet, I was already away from home and everything I knew.  I seemed to be the only one of my kind in this place at this time.  I had a group that I had been hanging out with and had been bonding with since we had arrived there, but it feels like it does when you go to summer camp and bond with people. . . you’re still out there on your own and making the best of the situation.

Everyone else there felt like strangers to me.  I didn’t know anyone there really.  I kind of got the feeling that there were a lot of us there like that.  Like each species or world or group had sent representatives. . . and here we were.  This place we were at, was like a substation.  We were acclimating to the frequency and vibrations that were much different and denser than what we were used to.  All of the “food” there was to help us to adjust to the idea of needing to eat, as well as helping us become denser.

I felt rumors or whispers filtering through the halls.  It wasn’t that people were actually talking, it was in the air, and I was able to pick it up.  What I heard snapped me out of my thoughts about the food situation.

“What do you mean we forget?”

I started feeling a pull towards a location.  It felt like a magnet was pulling on me.  Everyone that had been at this substation with me, was also feeling the pull and moving towards a single location.  I found my group I had been bonding with.  They were walking ahead of me, and they seemed taller than me.  I was communicating to them as we followed the pull, saying “Did you hear that we forget?  We’re going to forget?”  I felt mostly curious about it, but something else was creeping into me.

I heard my group kind of murmur and pass the information between them, but nothing more was really said because we were suddenly boarding this train-like vehicle.  I had wanted to sit with my group, but the pull was so strong on everybody, that the seats all around my group were already filled up.  I went further down the train, and almost had a seat. . . but it filled before I actually could get in it.  I was sure I was meant to have a seat, so I just kept moving down until I found one that I got into.

I remember sitting in a seat that reminds me of those booster seats you use for toddlers so that they can reach the table.  Except it was kind of up in the air, so I just kind of leaned into it from a standing position.  I remember the strange thinnish “seatbelts” that you clicked in place over your lap.  I was now staring straight ahead.

I was sitting in-between two people I didn’t know.  I couldn’t stop pondering the implications of what I had just found out.

I’m going to forget.

When we get there, I’m not even going to know that I don’t know these two people next to me.  I’m not going to remember that I got sat far away from my own group.  I’m going to forget that I was even here.  It’s going to be like none of this happened at all.

This felt like new or surprising information to me.  I was wondering how I was supposed to do what I was coming to Earth to do, if I was going to forget who I was.  And why did I find out moments before it was time to come into the Earth realm?  I knew it was on purpose and that everything was setup exactly as it was meant to be. . . but what did this mean?  As I centered myself for my descent into this world, a sadness was starting to creep into me.

My curiosity and need to know and understand things, didn’t know what to expect with this sudden turn of events.  Forgetting, to me, feels like a fate worse than death.  I’m pretty sure it is, as far as the immortal soul is concerned.  I trusted that we all knew what we were doing. . . but I was also feeling a little scared at forgetting my existence prior to my birth.  But the adventurer in me, was open to the new experiences this would bring me.

So I let go, and gave in to the pull that was bringing in the latest group of brave souls coming into Earth as representatives of far larger groups of beings from all over the universe.  There was a call for help, and we had been called back into service.  This wasn’t a joy ride for us, this was a pull from our heart to serve those in great need on Earth at this time.

There was a limited amount of space open (bodies in which we were able to incarnate into) and the response to the call was so great, that each group was limited to the number of representatives that they could send.  However, each group’s unique energies and strengths are desperately needed, which means every single person matters a great deal and carries a large burden of responsibility.

Each of us matter.  And we are not alone.  We carry the hope, love, and wisdom from those all over the universe who came in response to Earth’s call for help.  And they have been watching over us all along, making sure that we’re okay. . . especially when we’re suffering.

If you are here at this time. . . you are brave beyond comprehension.  You love with a heart unmatched.  Just being here is itself an act of unconditional love.  You were thought of highly enough, that you were chosen out of trillions. . . to come be here at this time.  Here, you may feel like you’re just one of 7 billion lost souls. . . but from the perspective of the universe. . . you are the Elite.  The best of the best.  The most loving of the loved.  You are a brilliant, blazing, supernova of light.  A fiery golden light of glory.

But you just forgot.


  1. Jean Mackenzie says:

    When you write stuff like this – in fact no matter what you write, my whole being resonates with it – likes it is reminding me ,,, Thanks Jen


    • Oh come on, Jean . . . you mean you don’t remember boarding the train before me? {feigned shock}

      : D

      I was telling Jay this morning, I think everyone except me knew about the forgetting thing and the peeps up ahead were avoiding eye contact so they didn’t give it away. My #1 driving force since the day I was born was to remember *something* (which is what fuels my curiosity).

      “What’s my mission?”

      “To remember.”

      “Oh. That’s easy. Sign me up.”

      {wait for it . . . }

      {Starts boarding train}

      “FYI, your memory of everything before you were born is going to be wiped from your memory on your ride down. Good luck!”

      “Wait. What?!?” O.O

      Guess it worked though. I came bursting onto the scene screaming, “WTF is going on around here?!?!”

      {Sigh} Spirit thinks it’s hilarious.


      • savannah says:

        when i was half asleep yesterday, my 13 year old daughter asked me why she is here and how come she keeps reacting to certain people’s behavior and how can she stop letting others dominte her energy. she said when she goes off the planet she feels it is more familiar but not sure if she is asleep or not. it was a lovely conversation. i think i will read this to her to help answer her questions.



  2. No words, just lots of LOVE and THANK YOU! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤



  3. Ophelia says:

    well… at risk of sounding like i’m just jumping on board the dream train… this reminds me uncannilly of a dream i had so early in life it’s probably one of my first remembered dreams in a time of very dim memory. i *was* born when it happened, i was very young, maybe 2 or 3 years old is my guess, possibly younger. but to this day i remember it.

    the dream “impressions” don’t translate well into conscious reality. i know what i remember is not exactly the literal content of the dream; I remember the impressions. i was someplace very high and safe, and there were at least two “people” there with me, except i always tend to picture them as angels. and they were telling me i had to stay; and i did not want to. i was scared, i was lonely. i was going into a bad place and i knew it (and i was born into a very terrifying abusive family). in this dream, there was no particular sense that i had chosen to do this. i did not want to go. llike i said, i was scared. i cried to them to let me stay. but they were adamant (wrong word) about the message. i had to go, and (here’s the kicker) when i awoke, i would not remember them, any of them, or any of the rest of what i then knew and we had discussed. and forgetting was not optional. They were very kind and sad but immoveable on this point though i beg and pleaded and protested. I think they told me to climb down – i again have this vague sense of being very high in the air, as on the edge of a mountain or cliff, but not unsafe there. in fact i was with those beings with whom i felt most safe, who were telling me they would not be with me but trying to encourage me and tell me everything would be all right, something like that. all i remember is when i awoke from the dream in my bedroom on earth, i was devastated. i cried and cried. my earliest memory is this terrible, terrible grief over losing them, these guides i’d had, and being alone in a very threatening world.

    so it occurred to me, not to sound all granola crunchy (not that i mind that anyway) but from a purely logical point of view, that perhaps i am safer than i realize. that perhaps certain people around me, flawed though they may seem to be, could be my “spirit guides” if such a concept does in fact stem from the way of the universe as known to me in that dream. spirit guides, angels, or something else incomprehensable, with my mind trying to fill in the blanks later with available images. and the last message i remember receiving from them, that was so upsetting, was, “you will forget.”


    • This part, ” i had to go, and (here’s the kicker) when i awoke, i would not remember them, any of them, or any of the rest of what i then knew and we had discussed. and forgetting was not optional.” as well as this part, “the last message i remember receiving from them, that was so upsetting, was, “you will forget.” both hit me pretty hard in the gut and started an episode of insta-bawling.

      Reading your comment brought back a couple more memories of mine. One is from when I was about 6 or 7 and living in Germany. It’s actually from this memory in particular, whenever I go back to it and focus/meditate/feel into it. . . that many other memories from before I was born start to come back. Almost like it’s the doorway to where I can access those things.

      In the memory, I was laying in my bed staring up at the ceiling, and every so often out my window at the sky. (To this day, I need to be able to see the sky from my bed in order to sleep ok.) I was wondering what I had done wrong to be left here alone by my people. I missed my “family” in the sky. I wanted to know where my *magic* had gone. Why I couldn’t do all of the things that I used to be able to do. I didn’t know the people I lived with (my mom and dad and brother). It was so painful though, to not be able to remember the details (like. . . “why?”), so I let myself forget. End of 2010 was when I started to remember again, and started clawing at any piece of the puzzle I could get my hands on.

      The other memory your comment brought up, was actually something my son told me when he was 7. I was tucking him into bed, and while sitting on the side of the bed looking at him, I felt strongly to ask him, “Do you know why you came to Earth?” He had a thoughtful, but sad look on his face. It took him a few moments before he could answer. He said that coming here, had ripped his heart in two. He made hand gestures showing a ripping in half. The feeling I got from it, was that he didn’t have to be here on Earth. . . but something made him come anyways, despite how intense and frightening this world feels to us. But that there were two main reasons he came.

      One, was to teach me love. The feeling I got from that, was that I was in *mayday* myself. . . and he came to help me remember the true meaning of love, because from there I am able to remember all those things I forgot. His 2nd reason, he said he couldn’t really talk about. All I ever found out about the 2nd reason, is that it had to do with helping Earth out during this time. I had received a flash visual of a huge stream (or more like roaring river) of light beings making their way to Earth.

      Huh. I wonder if that’s the “train”? I know when it’s a concept too far beyond my understanding, it gets filled in with things I do understand and have a similar use. Spirit speaks to us in the ways that make the most sense to us individually. It’s very adaptable. It’s not hung up on exact, literal, or concrete distinctions. If I understand train better, because it immediately tells me I’m on a trip or journey. . . then a train it will be, even if it really was just me in spirit flowing through a tube thing (or tunnel, going away from the light O.O )

      The emotional response I was hit with when reading your dream, plus the fact that you remember something like that after all these years, tells me that it is a memory. If that’s how it feels to you. . . then let yourself have that feeling. Let it be true, if for nothing else, than to honor your feelings. That’s one way you can open yourself back up, and remember even more. That’s the opening of your heart. That’s trusting and believing in yourself. It’s what your inner child is starving for.


      • Ophelia says:

        ok that’s uncanny. and so familiar, especially that early memory you described. feeling very lost today, my heart just aches, very confused over a relationship i’m in (as usual)… your kind words are good to hear. i wish i had some idea what, if anything, i was supposed to do while i’m here. i’m trying to be open to insight and it’s just a long time coming. wish i could say more but i just don’t have the words right now. thanks again


  4. I liked this post a lot! When I was a young kid, I used to get waves of homesick feelings and then they would pass. I would wonder why I felt like that when I had a mom and dad and brothers and sisters and a very happy family. I now think I was feeling waves of homesickness for my real home, that this is all just a temporary sojourn and maybe I came here to be of help in some way… but I really don’t know!


    • Hi Astrologerpeg!
      I’m a little late to the “respond to comment” party, but I made it! ; )

      The homesick feelings . . . ah man. I didn’t feel even remotely related to the rest of my family, but my maternal great grandmother, I felt so close to her in a way I couldn’t describe. She lived until she was 92. I lived on the complete other side of the US when she passed (I think I was 10?), but it was devastating to me.

      Not long after she came to me in a dream, that was absolutely lucid for me. She said she had to go. She showed me a pile of cut logs, arranged like in a fire. They had a very vibrant, neon-ish blue glow about them. She was going through them or into them like a portal or something. I smiled and started walking towards them and said, “Okay!” Apparently I thought I was going to get to go with her. But she pulled me back and said that it wasn’t time for me to go yet. Only she could go. It broke my heart. I couldn’t wait until it was time for me to go into the blue color.

      As I got older, I had a couple more dreams that I think tried to help me understand better why she had to go so far away from me, even energetically. Because I’m so sensitive, I can sense her even though she wasn’t in body . . . and for whatever reason, her energy reminds me of home so much, that I’m unable to focus on the here and now and what I’m trying to do. Whenever I’ve sensed her (it’s been about 3 more times since that dream when I was 10), I become overwhelmed with the feeling of homesickness to such a degree that I almost can’t function anymore. I just become a big ball of sobs, and “WHY!?”s, and “it’s not fair!”. In short, it’s torture, and I become useless as a human which totally defeats the whole reason for coming here.

      I wonder if maybe whenever you felt the waves of homesickness, whether someone was nearby visiting you energetically that felt like home to you. Maybe checking in on you to make sure you’re okay and also to refresh your memory (subconscious of course) of something bigger than you so you don’t lose your way.


  5. This blows mind.. it is just so yummy and gorgeous..thank you 🙂


  6. herongrace says:

    I had a vision of being in a line getting ready to be born. I remember the woman in front of me who later became a friend IRL turning around with a big smile saying “I’m going to have a fn! good time!”
    I was a whole lot more trepidatious as I knew I had some difficult challenges to face.
    Another time I saw myself just born, little baby hands on ears excruciating pain from noise, held upside down, in a furious rage thinking “Where the F! am I?”


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